Jim Breuer Talks About How Wild It Is to Tour with Metallica
But I was on the side and I'm looking at these hooligans. Yeah and it, was in the middle of one of their sets, and and. Was. Named Ian what's, his name Ivan, Ivan and he goes oh Sulu. Cute over there and, there's, a kid in the hot. Tub he was bringing the child to me. And. This, child. And. The child crowd, surfs to the front can't be more in five six years old little. Latino. Innocent. Child eyes, big. Bright like a, Disney, show right, and she's looking around and he goes what's. Your name I, don't. Know I is, whatever. Name is he, goes do. You like do. You have a curse. What. Today you got a curse, and, I, just, remember loose kidney goes he. Goes are you ready to say this. Any. She said she looks at to a sea of white human, beings going. And. The kid was horrified. And that's what I realized what did. We get her. This. Is true Manju, Hatfield. I. Love fumet, achoo james hetfield it's, the price the bonfire comments at radio sirius XM 95, I'm Dan Soder that's, me Jay oakerson and his. New special available April. 5th were every Ustream albums live from Portland Jim, brewer on the show just. Having a time, thank you drinking, coffee, you. Know crown and playing Metallica. Fu-manchu's. It's. Just. You. Didn't have you know Brahman when they cut the hair I was, a little I was thrown at first a little bit but then with it I just remember Allison chains on there unplugged the bassist had on his guitar friends, don't let friends get haircuts cuz, cuz. Metallica, was in the audience well they made you deal with a lot at once they cut their hair and then started making three and a half four minute rock songs yes, and that was a that was a lot you were like oh you. Start getting worried you like is about to become Bon Jovi, like were they they went from like I thought they were so cool to like music from my mom yeah and like I was worried that Metallica, was gonna pull. This in some way you. Know Guns. And Roses got out of the game quick enough they didn't have time to get old and. Change their music really together and here we go she's gonna be the change but they they. Hung in there man and the music solid, and they every album they put out you're like they still got it it's great every time I remember getting, Death Magnetic early. And, I like super, except that's the last time it was like a CD because, everything after that was like download but I remember getting Vic. Garcia my old roommate got me Death Magnetic from, a guy new at Warner Brothers and I remember like listening to it me like this just, awesome, I loved it give it to De Rosa still cool man there's I love. The new album yeah, more. Than to. Me it's the greatest rock. Album. In 30 years okay, Metallica. Yeah greatest, rock album, and third you went on the road with them yeah, you just got off the road with them just get off through it. Awesome, you. Also. Do a Lars which, is one of my sweet, those are one of those impressions where I'm like how. Do I get him to do long it's. Easy I'm. It's. It's he, was the one that helped. Me through this, it dude. He. First. Of all. The. Whole thing happened, where I got a text from Hetfield, last. March. Yeah. Anyway. And James, is always when they asked me do thinks he's very vague, okay. So he's in Europe touring, anyway, hey. Would. You be interested in. Doing. Some, type of tour with us and I. And. I, immediately, I probably geeked, out lutar, oh dude I'll, kill you. Anyway. Don't. Get excited it's not really stand-up, it's. It's, it's more, of something else, and. I haven't talked the rest of the band okay. Two. Weeks later he sends me, ideas. And the ideas are. Blasting. T-shirts. Into the crowd it's, I'm not off board yet.
T-shirt. Going continue. Maybe. There's a hardwired. Harry. That. Roams the crowd or in the parking lot oh god you're a mascot. It's. A first suit here's the thing very breathable very. Excited. You're wearing a burlap head, we're. About to unveil the. Ma'am. The magadhan, Metallica. Mascot, you're gonna be inside yeah you're that golf cart guy that drives what everyone, you know it's the ball at you. So. And. He's throwing these ideas that so I throw him ideas, and. I. Don't hear from him yeah. And. May. Comes, now, it's May and I'm at a gig and I get a call from his, manager hey. Man and this is Marc are. You around this Sunday. Yeah. Whoo, yeah man, fact I'm alone in New Jersey where I'll come to your house and we're. Gonna come a house I always, imagined, Metallica, like helicopters, in like anyone that they were like it, was sort of like that what even. Telling. This is him reaching out to you and saying, like don't. Get excited there's so many like. Comedians. And just people in the world who. View you aren't on that level to say like is a Jim, Breuer just. Texted, me and then you have a thing where you got, your I reached out he goes James. Probably busy he's probably get back to me or whatever. Against. Yuri like oh what yeah dude I'll talk to you what you want to talk to me. I'll. Call you right now I love you there's 20 people you walk by they're like really, good talking. Line. Clear jeez I. Text, before the show I tensed up like a prairie dog here in a hawk screen when. I heard Jim laughing with Lou down the hall I was like it's Jim Breuer I've. Never met him I was like damn it's just like one of those things where it's like, yeah. Like. Jays look at me like pull it together dude okay. And so, this guy Mark comes to my house and, I got I got home I I got all my ideas lined up. I. Got everything a whole notepad, I've, got all these different so, if he doesn't like this idea I got five other ones that are gonna work yeah and. He he. Lives a cage every time yeah I'm in town but uh I'm. Just thrown off that he's at my house in the middle of nowhere, New Jersey. Yeah I know he lives in San Fran like what is he doing here so he goes in my kitchen and he opens up his laptop computer, and he opens, like okay so we start in September. In. Madison. Wisconsin and. Then we go off we. Go all the way to March, and it's basically like seven days and I know you do a residency. And, there's only one date. At the Paramount, that you'd have to change and I. Don't know if you talked with your wife Dee but art are. You into this that's, so funny, and I went, well. Yeah he went great. Shots. It he goes we're announcing this tomorrow and Stern and Rolling Stone and, we have your name in it and egos we'll worry about developing. What the show is and and. You know I'll talk the agent will figure out fine. Okay. I. Can even think the. And. That's. The way they talk about government. On. The news. It's. Been handled. There. Is no more paramount, and. You are also the leader of three, hundred and thirty thousand, people. And. That's how and I I, racked. My brain, trying, to figure it out what is the first day of showing, up for Metallica, school like. We're. Done so here's. The thing I show up no, first of all before it even went down they. Fly, me, to. Like. Switzerland. Yeah, -. They are Metalocalypse to. See. What. The stage looks like, we. Have a this, is where something any comic, could have handled with a simple, cell. Phone picture got. You it's like they tell us because you want to come soon stupid or soundcheck, like I'll. Just trust you guys have a microphone that works. Worst-case. Scenario I'll ask you to pump the mic volume yeah, you, want to see if your shirts blend in with the backdrop to money that's weird budget mr., Borelli going to bring you to the Metallica facility, in the Swiss Alps it's where they all train this, is Lars at a pool just running.
He's, Got nodes all over I'm just ticking mechanics. James. Is being flush out with fresh sheep's blood oh that's. Wrong he'll whatever. He bases, he destroys. A. Hero. Is hitting 1,300, pounds of pressure on each string. So. They so they take you to, Switzerland. Just to show you the stage and, meet. All production. Yeah. That. Isn't in a mall what. Am I. To. You when, I joined the first thing the first show I did with corn at all huh, was it a small place in North Carolina they called the ballroom blitz tour so it was like thousand-seat. Places, maybe a little bit somewhere like a couple thousand, but for, the most part was small this is a small one it was the second day on tour I joined the second day when. I get there the opening band is on who you know as you know I ended up opening my, comedy, son yeah. Yeah. Yeah and. These amazing gut but they won't stage I had am a lead singer is a great frontman he's bleeding. Actively. On, stage in the you know I didn't know their music before and they're they're going for it and I'm. So intimidating, they go you, know you just go up in between them. While. They sit up for corn I go I don't I don't think it's gonna work. Go. Home your mom. And. Then I went on and it just went that, particular show, my buddy John who's, in the military, yes stationed, out there he just happened to be able to go with and something about just having a friend there also is like I'm, gonna go give it a whirl dude you're almost like I'll play to you if no. One's paying attention like we'll laugh at how much this just sucks but, I was a bit nervous it but you do you walk in and everyone even. Dude members of corn I'd be like I'm Jay I'm the comic who's uh over, the show goes we have a comic, now. Yes. Yes. Switzerland. And it's the whole as this basically where the whole tour is learning how to build and take no no no they're in the mill the tour this is one the last shows okay so, this is they're gonna come off this rest for a little bit and go back on with you right, Jan live in, on the road yeah.
Break. Still rights like they go out for a stretch yes, but this is the end of their tour and there's. Only two dates left yeah so I fly, out there the, day of ice. At. The hotel, at 9:00 in the morning they picked me up at to bring me to the arena. They. Show me the stage yeah. Okay. Change. Something. If. There could be candles, yeah here. Like. You're adding you like this you guys ever thought that that light that. Lever probably be better over there. Be. Nice if there were screens, of people could see me yes yes smart. I said it's all I need is a majors. In. The end this is just a real set quick sidebar what I've noticed from the, ship. Rocked story and the Metallica thing is like you're like a MacGyver with performance, where you know how to just quick, fix it where you go drop it we're just gonna improv. Situations. They know a comics, coming on these things yeah but nobody, there no Scott, the first day that was the question that threw me for a major loop they go you, want to give me your microphone, he's like I'll set, it up for you before the show I want what. Do you want to do what, your. Microphone, do you, don't your comedian write this basically. Like musicians like guitars, travel with their guitar. This. Questions never come up in 18. Years of colossal no, one's ever asked me if I had my microphone, please start googling custom microphones, because, I want to start showing up to have sold helium's, going. Like and, go like this can, you plug man what's up Huntsville Alabama, golden. Fist I go there's Delilah. That's. Gonna really rip in this room I'm gonna take this with me to my hotel and. I'm. Totally down with that I trust I can leave this here overnight yeah you guys have a lockbox. Like. Your, BB King. But. That's the thing right they want you to have some sort of like answers. For what you need, yeah. I I. Said. Just, a scream. Would be great and then. I watched. The show. And. Like all right well would we all right we'll see you back in the States and then if now. Before, before. I leave, someone. Goes hey man Laura's in the food room and you must talk to you he's got 15 minutes what, okay, so, I go in there any site, so. He's, eating, so. Basically. Why. We hurried, you is because, you're, able to read a crowd, and just, this. Is your. Thing just do what you want. All. Right well what. That's. Yeah. I come in this, is why I came cilinder. Craft service, Rocklin. Ideas. Just run them by me and then I still. Is really uneasy I don't know what and, people like your opening like I'm not opening. Yeah, I'm, host. Emcee. Of. Their. Opening. Whatever, it's called the the lighten up tour I did, the corner I'm not opening.
You're Not doing a it's. Jim Breuer and it's 45 minute comedy set yeah so, now, it's. Right, it's about a month before the show goes and I'm stressing. Out yeah, yeah you got a big thing dude I reached out to Jay, I'm calling, Bilborough I'm, like hey you want to come join me on stage. I'm, not the only one going down you're all going down with me. Call a guy and he awful in the beginning, spot, did you, open Christina. Opening can you pull up you. Pull up my calendar my enchants on the screen the show Mike help after Jim texted. Me yeah I have, Metallica, date listen every. Dude. You got the uniform, before you got hired at the job you're just wearing the shirt and you're like here we go, Papa. John's gonna call I don't like minions. So. I called Jim I came in you available to. Like I don't know what I'm doing I think I said I don't know what I'm doing yeah I don't. Know what I'm doing, yeah, and, then also I flew out I. Flew. Out pretended. I had a gig in San Francisco, knowing. Lars was there for a couple days more now, I talked to Jay I talked to James I'm friends with James yeah, but James is always kind of a he's like I don't know just, kind of I don't, know you know, you do your thing it's not helping me. That's. Great, rocks. Rock star Vega isms it's a theater and around. Okay so i sat with Lars, I find, Lars I go, to his house he's, like why you here, I. Have. A gig, out here, and, I went you know what I really don't I want to wrap my head I'm what you see and he, see he's laying down in a chair like his legs are dangling over and he goes like this he goes and and, we could see the entire San, Francisco, Bay it's a communities, in Tiburon and yes and he goes well not anymore he goes. That's why had cousins knowledge. That. House does an existing well, into that house had a great time there I can't wait got good stories there he, goes, here's. The deal, first. Of all you're. Writing, bits and creating, things that, are. For like 15,000. People trust. Me when I say you lucky, maybe, 800, maybe a thousand, people being arena when you're up there so. You, gotta think nobody's, gonna be in there that's number one number. Two. You. Gotta remember tell. Them why you. Here because. You know the band you know me you know James, you know stories, tell them stories.
The. Times you worked with us but the most important, things you don't. Have to be funny. As. You, go. Down. Your name Jim Breuer, know. What. Okay. Okay. I don't have to be funny like it just tell stories and just. I, trust. You, I've seen, you going to a room and you. Can work, the room you know the situation. And you just, go with it it's it's. Brilliant just you, can do that in front of our crowd he. Goes weak at bands nobody, goes see them it's a bum for the band's bum for us so. Why, not give the crowd a fan. Experience, that's that's. What we're looking for and I want. Okay. Yeah, all right and I. Planned, this whole. Thing for, Madison, Wisconsin, yeah and it, was on I got a DJ yeah. A comedian. That I can banter, with and he's gonna play songs, and, even that guy came to my house and he's like he's. A punk rocker he doesn't know rock and metal and he goes here's the songs I got and every song. Every. One in that audience is Jim, Breuer yeah they are married, their kids they grew up metallic, in 86, maybe some them loved give me if you will give me five give it and that's where they started, but, still those people and not into. None. Of the mirror to that play, old Van Halen, David Lee Roth not. Van Halen, scorpions. Play. Play. Maybe a little bit Pantera, maybe you wanted to not a lot of them they don't get you crazy don't get crazy, play, play, what, you hear, now yeah on Ozzy's. Boneyard and that, crowd be happy and I got, stories so I'll tell a story and go you know one time when I met Asiata, play and a boom you play. Play. Hey this hat my girlfriend, and it's okay so we're set boom boom boom and. We. Found the first show I. Walk. Out six, o'clock I shoot I learned. Everything after the first show that's, good I got, okay I've got Madison, Wisconsin, I've got the star. Star. Player, from, there from. There college, football, team University, of Wisconsin, goal pitchers, yes, yeah. So I got the Badgers, Badgers. Were on her back the Badgers, quarterback, I've got, I'm gonna run up on top give tickets away oh yeah, I'm, gonna every 15 minutes I have something scheduled you're dusting, them well, first, 15 minutes I go up hey how you doing, has maybe like. 5,000. People in the arena it's six o'clock really. Early lars talent i bet six o'clock you really feel like hard-wired Harry. Yeah, right through it now now. I gotta run to the top and I, don't have a security guard oh boy and I don't know how to get to the top and, the lights they can't find, me and so the guys on stage like Jeremiah it's. A, disaster. Round. They said Metallica, they're insistent, that Metallica, goes up at 8:30 and, Metallica. Lars is insistent. I stay, on stage. Until. Metallica, comes out because, Metallica. Is big Jim Breuer fan and they want all Metallica. Fans to start following Jim Breuer so that's the part where I'm like wow. Thank, you thank, you thank you okay. 8:20, I go. Backstage they. Go are they still going up at 8:30. 100%. Great. 8:25. I go on stage I get the okay this section, I think you're. Better than this section, you guys do the hokey-pokey you, jump up and down you're allowed to name you say bah bah bah and they're. And, the, guy goes. Stretch. And. I looked at what oh, okay okay, okay. Okay. I. Did ten more minutes and now the crowds getting a little tired yeah they go like all right dude and I'm about to get off and again, they're not ready like waka. At 8:40. 8:45 and, now, I'm getting the bottom the, bottom teeth yeah it's turning hard down Jim Breuer teeth, are going and I'm getting a lot of this. You. Get. The. Off the stage. Three hours of anybody, though. I. Had, the t-shirt, cannons, they're not working so I run out. It's. Not five, people, it's it's sections. So. Just 114, now. So. At one point the, funniest part was I had the DJ on stage, and he's wearing glasses and can't see what the he's doing he. Calls me he, calls me over on stage people booing that told me get the, off the stage and. I went oh man Metallica's. Management's. There everyone's. Everybody's. There watching, the big star for some reason cliff Burton's family's whole. Super. Disappointed, to them. And. Oh. All. Of a sudden they, say okay, they're they're, ready it's 855. Yeah, but that. 25 minutes, they go up I go backstage. And. I go oh my god, but, my attitude is always like okay. Let's, tomorrow, night we're gonna kick their ass okay, cuz in my life me. And you were the same I know we're being you are I'm taking a detective, shower in the public shower with it just running up with my hand against the wall like not. Me I'm, I'm taking, the old tags off my bag to get ready to put the ones to go home with, well. It was a failed experiment look everything, we could write we tried that one night didn't work out.
The. Guy was with on stage, what you. Swear. To God Joseph. We. Got a stage like dude we can't, do this I'm packing my bags we, I'm. Out I'm the whole, I say did. Let's, let's. Regroup, we. Know it works with note the next night it was like okay no I'm not going up to 7:30. Yeah, yes you go out at 7:00, start playing songs. Me going up in the crowd you're. Going, up in the crap I'm. Gonna go up talk. As long as I can. With the audience talk as months ago when I'm done with that you. Are then gonna give ticket giveaways, you're gonna go up on top you, go way up there after that we're, gonna play a trivia game with the crowd and, do that we're gonna do a game show I'm gonna bring couple knuckleheads up, and hopefully they get booed the off the stage it'll. Be the most entertaining thing, in the world for the crowd and that's. By. Spy night two and three I found. A rhythm like it becomes how easily and then when it comes every day is just like Oh Stefan do my thing real quick and then I get to sit and watch metallic all night Jim well, I'm not kidding, you by. This second. Leg and there was a part of me and I think only you, can understand, this Jay I don't know maybe you two do not know that's fine I get it no maybe you two I'm. Green in this pile, of Metallica, like let's say I wasn't opening for him yeah I'd. Be in the crowd. Banging, my head so, hard that. It. Would hurt the next day when. I'm home alone and. I. Reached, a point on never forget this is a game changer for me so the crowd is done I mean I'm done with my set and, I'm. Not getting booed I'm not getting no go, yourself go home die, get, cancer, I'm not getting those tweets anymore from. Get from night two on it was like I do it I get it yeah, it's fun so now there's. This Korean, guy and he's. Hangout every, song I, don't. Know what happened I'm at this I'm at the sound booth and I went up to him and it, was doing and went from moth to the flame to sad but true to, uh. Like. Master. Of puppets' and the three of us got in each other's the to us got in each other's faces and, we, acted, out every, song and, when we were done we had a crowd, around us and it, became a tradition. Every. Night people. Called, me out for every song, and. I. Remember. The third leg, there. Was about 15, of us banging, her head so hard way in the back right, and all. Of a sudden the song was over and it was this song and I. Look up and a pic, comes flying by my head and look up its head field and he's looking at me shaking. His head but laughing yeah that's awesome and then after the shows like. You're. In there at the, crowds your nut ball, you're a, nut ball I love it that was great. That's great but it also it shows you man like with the. You. Know with the crews, and with the open for Metallica by the second night you, were like a seasoned guy in a heist movie you like came in you go here's how it's gonna go the, car's gonna stay out front. He. Goes this is a three safe joint alright we got 90 seconds when they hit that button that's what you got 90 you got to get in and out to, call it like that and then just to solve it that's they, don't know how many years, of comedy, women well look it's gonna because the thing is the gig kameena, clear awarding, is gonna be what its gonna be yes I didn't walk off of any 60, shows I did with them I've. Never walked, off stage one time it goes goes. It's. Just it was especially I said with me when I went up there no no I was to go is the. Drum tech grabbing the mic. Look. At this dickhead look. What. Happens Jay is that whole crowd. Looks. At who, is this guy and then they look you up yeah, and then they see video like oh dude, he's oh wow, and, what. I started seeing was the. Metallica, crowd went dude he's a real Metallica, guy yeah, it, really is a metallica guy well he's really. And. Some people started going you know why don't you do material, like dad I'm in around, yes. It's. Eight and by the way you're gonna talk fun no matter what that's the thing if to rely on that's the instinct that whatever. I do if, I, was talking at a funeral, I just say something funny because that's, what you know my thing is yeah and I started going in the crowd do anything and and the coolest thing in the world became, this is the greatest I can honestly say it was, the greatest gig I ever. Had in, my entire. Life. Better than TV been, in film it, was the greatest, gig, greatest. Experience. Ever had, in my life I would I would do it I said, I would retire and do this rest of my life but, guys, like you guys like Jay, only. We can do this because we can, appreciate, I can, appreciate. What. Life is and these are moments when we were kids like God if I got to meet ball players God if I got to hang out with the metal guys God if I could and we.
I'm The Forrest, Gump of entertainment. I said, from day one, hey. I want to work a past year I want to work engineer all I want to do this I want to be with Metallica, I wanna and I could sit there go yeah, everything. It's not what I envisioned, yeah I thought I'd have 50 million dollars it'll be a blockbuster star like you know why, who's, gonna say I. Toured. With me that's. Crazy who's, gonna say I worked. With disken who's gonna say with. A fake bat by Joe Pesci yeah it's the great I it's. The moments I said it's the I call them the not no one can there's, there's little marks in my life when you go don't take this away from me you. Just do a thing you go that's why I said I get but bust my balls for bringing up how much I bring up being on tour with Korn I'm like it's a pretty huge moment of my life. Just. For me but also just in comedy, I went from like struggling, and by the way when I came off but still struggling if I wasn't in a financial, gig it was like ya asked me if I would go on the tour doing, comedy in front of corn, for 60 shows yeah Rob Zombie, and I did Slipknot, and and, but, and then the Shiprock, things just. Crazy I mean it really is it's like it but it's you're on the pole sure when, we were on the poster we, both have that poster framed from Bonnaroo, we, did the comedy tent but want to post a, Billy Joel. It's a crazy, crazy the, beginning of the gay porn this, guy's in gay porn. This. Is where we pick, up the stranger, at the bus stop, yeah, it's. Louie stacks yeah. But. Bloo drooler cuz he got the fat stacks of dick in his pants he drills drills. Chicks, do, drills, we're. Doing an overnight shift to the gas station, scene we're loose alone the only employee there and. A lady needs our car fixed which is everybody, she. Steals his Agnes bar while he's taking a he, comes out catches, her well there's only one way to pay that. Guys. Already given us to his Volvo. Yo. Guys yo top cuts if anything in Bushwick, if internet has taught me anything to. Make random behind people leave you alone, Street magic. Oh. Man, this warlock. I try. To get the full Scottie. I. Don't. Know if work faces microphones, even doing a God there he's. The furthest away from her. You. Do, you like your new job as audio, eight it yeah it's. True. No, here I'll try it Oh how's the field we turn. Yeah. Well do that this feels good I think, both of you guys are doing it terribly wrong yeah. I don't. Get. Too far play for me. Yeah. But your arm gets tired quick dude dude, my jackass on your right I'm. Standing. In for Jay that's. Not. Getting. Too close. Let's. Do it like we're doing save the world. No. That's sack give, it back now let me carry it for you and Jay. All. Right feeling, just as bad a job as a breakfast. It. Goes right to my ear to miss the show. I'll. Take these headphones right off throw that you. Only. Finish if I smell. It's, really smell your mouth is so high tiptoes. I'm trying to kiss you let's. Go Sam. See. That guy selling that book how to roll blunts for dummies yeah. That's awesome, hold on I'm gonna buy one. I. Give. You 20 I'll pay that. Snatching, grant I say snatching, grab like how the ball abacus, scientists yeah hell yeah me where, today Russia well Chardin especially. Need you here it's. Got to work guys awesome, got. To 420, yeah. You think your friends would dig this video then, share it with them and tell them to rate and review and, you know make. Us feel good about ourselves you tell a friend they tell two friends yeah, it's a pyramid scheme of a radio show comes the whole thing I got some Cutco knives also, if you're interested oh I got spider Cove so, come. To me if you want the real one.