Make Online Dating Great Again - Weekly Weird News

Make Online Dating Great Again - Weekly Weird News

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What's up guys time for weekly weird news now there's absolutely no, shortage, of dating sites out there these days because while it might have been just a little bit weird to find a relationship online 15. Or 20 years ago it's, pretty much commonplace, now yeah actually, at this point it's probably far more respectable, than finding your potential mate at a bar. Or, by ruining. Friendships, by either constantly, badgering your couple friend to find you a date or hitting on anyone they bring around you hey stop it cut it out man she's just a friend be cool be, cool the. Chances of you finding someone, that's perfect for you are higher than ever thanks to algorithms. That match you based on quizzes and injuries it's fun as well as the site's themselves that whittle down potential, matches based on who, should actually be visiting them if you're looking to hook up you probably go to tinder, or Grindr if, you're looking for something, more long-term but, one a wide variety, of potential matches you could go to OkCupid. Or they're, owned by the same company as, are a lot of these the match people they're looking to get married yeah mmm, OkCupid, see. What happen but time but. If you've got something specific, in mind the, Internet has you covered there as well, FarmersOnly. Is a place for well. Farmers. Only sorry city boy equestrian. Singles is there for people who bond over their love of horses and hopefully. Not their love with horses, I didn't, look too far into it but I think, it's about right our majestic, animal, it's true a gluten-free, singles, exist for people who are incredibly, annoying and can't admit that they're just on a diet or a, couple. People that actually have celiac disease no date. A golfer, weight, which. We can assume is for people who actually want a relationship with a deep glass of wine and some TV because that's the only company you're gonna have on the weekends sorry. God damn it. Damn. Golf course thinking. Yeah. I want, a rich husband who golf's all the time sorry. I can't have sex with you honey I've been golfing all day oh no. Oh that's, too bad my back 9 ah geez furry. Mate is a dating site for free, cloud. Dating it's, for clowns and diaper, mates, is, for those special people who are in that special, in-between, period their lives where they don't, have to wear diapers they, simply choose to you uh-huh, and there's even Mouse mingle, which is dating for Disney enthusiasts, and probably just a recruitment tool for all those Disney Street gangs we talked about last week yeah. Nefarious. But. For the people who constantly, use lines like why isn't there a white entertainment, network or why isn't there a white panther movie well they finally have an answer to their other burning question why, isn't there a white people meat calm, aside. From literally, all of the other sites that we just mentioned and thousands. More the. True answer has finally arrived Trump, dating. Is the latest hyper specific. Dating site to hit the market, no libs need apply get out of here. Snowflakes. Yeah. Real. Men and real women real and, Stroke dating, yeah drunk dating, no calm here it's a real website and aside from there being even a slight, statistical, probability, that could be a website run by Russians, that collects not only your personal information and dating preferences but also all the private messages you send when you're horny and desperate to use against you as your. Own personal, comprar Matt aside. From all that it's also a place where our, Trump fans from all the real parts of the country can, fall in love as. Long as you're not gay of course because the only two options that can be used to sign up or straight man and straight woman yeah there, is a bit of wiggle room once you're inside the site because aside. From catering your singles there's also an often for people who yeah. Sure they love the whole Family Values thing but they want a little something on the side you. Can choose the unhappily. Married option, yeah well, let's take another look at that site and just look at that happy middle-aged.

Couple Right there on the front of this thing they stand for the anthem there's no way that, they would ever get into a lover's spat that boiled, down to both of them just repeatedly, shouting, fake news at each other until the xanax kicks in and blesses them with 14 to 18 hours, of much-needed sleep. It's the best way to halt. An argument but hold on because this isn't the first successful couple to have graced the front page of Trump dating, just, last week the front page of this hot new dating site featured, this, lovely, couple on it but. They. Had to swap them out because the pesky, lamestream media. Fired up asks Orascom, they, found out that back in 1995. When that, man was 25. You, know the guy that's the, recently unseated, face of I'm dating, Barrett. Riddle burger he. Was convicted of a felony for videotaping, himself having sex with a 15 year old girl whoops. Mmm. Whoops you. Got rid of her now of course he. Could just be someone who posed for a stock photo that was used and then altered to be wearing a trump hat for this site I mean, they, couldn't have known about his past and presumably he wouldn't have known his face would have gotten cut so much attention. Well. Actually that dude Barrett. Riddle burger might, actually be intrinsically, involved in the actual operation of, the Trump dating website because ooh double. Whoops when, his local, news affiliate. WRAL. Reached out to riddle, burger regarding, the site he, basically acted, as the site's PR agent letting them know that the unhappily. Married option, was a glitch that some. Cuck programmer, was fixing yeah and he told them that he would discuss the site if they would just focus on the present, not, the past obviously. Referring, to his prior conviction for that whole filming. Himself having sex with a 15 year old girl thing yeah but we, all make mistakes but being that a lot of the people who would use the site could potentially, look past such, indiscretions. Given the support for Roy Moore during the, race for Alabama Tennessee and be it man let's. See what the site itself is all about make. Dating, great again whoo night exclaims, below its signup page which offers a hundred percent free registration, but take her out take. Her out, buy, her dinner yeah it's, a hundred percent free registration, but of course there's a $24.99, monthly. Usage fee that's just capitalism, baby you don't like it why don't you move, over to Europe or yeah you're, a poor accommodating. It. Continues, to find the America, first partner, of your dreams yeah that's the slogan sitting next to another, happy couple out for a piggyback, ride after, apparently, infiltrating. Well-known, liberal hellhole, New York City no, I can't stand New Yorkers with that Guy Fieri restaurant, in Times Square you can close down numerous. Health code violation ever again, well what if you fail the health code violations, just get rid of the health code that's right too many regulations keeping, me and my guy fieri food apart. The, Yeti Yeti, Yeti.

It. Continues dating in 2018, is more of a challenge than ever before thanks in part to today's polarizing. Political, landscape, while searching for a potential partner on other dating, sites it's not uncommon to see messages like no, Trump supporters or proud, liberal, we're, wrecking. The dating game and giving like-minded, Americans a chance to meet without the awkwardness, that comes with the first conversation, about politics. Wouldn't, it be rushing, to already know that your date roots for the same team when, political foundation. Is the same the sky is the limit we, believe that by matching patriotic. And political, viewpoints, as a base foundation, of the relationship, it will allow one to focus on what really matters conversation. Commonalities. And if all goes well courting. Being. With someone who shares the same core standards, is absolutely. Essential if you're truly searching, for a real life-changing. Relationship, and we have a feeling that if you're on this side that's, exactly. What you're looking for so what are you waiting for well. We're, obviously two. People who like to be grouped up into a two-party, system with no space for contradictory, thought with a potential, spouse what, are we waiting for let's. Trade our bubble, for their get me in that bubble, build. The bubble build, the bubble well, anyway it turns out to dude we don't actually want to do. Any of that and AV, Club actually already did a fair amount of digging anyway so let's see what they found in an article posted their website earlier this week they said once, logged in as a straight woman you will meet such Elbo eligible. Bachelors, as god emperor 2020. Who believes trump is a god as well as vamper hot, for Ivanka, who, is hot for Ivanka, and, a gentleman from Louisiana, who just wants to grab you by the heart really. The. Article goes on the number of obvious, catfishing, accounts both on the male and female side. Of the site is significant. Although more prevalent, among women as a search of female profiles of the second straight man burner account reveals they, reiterate.

That Users. Listed as female can't look at women's accounts because that's unnatural, they. Then extend an olive branch to Trump supporters who might use the site by linking. To a reverse google image search site, that will allow users to check and see if who they are talking, to is even, real, because. This wouldn't be the first time that some of them got duped by BOTS. We. Live in a weird country and, a weird time a really really weird time, but. Yeah let's get away from dating, in politics, for now let's, talk about guns baby mm-hmm, no. We're not gonna sit here and argue against, assault weapons because turns. Out those teenage students from Stoneman, Douglas High School are doing a damn good job of that on their own well. Let them have the floor just last night those kids they called out Florida senator and failed presidential, nominee little Marco Rubio and, absolute. Horror Show Dana Loesch from, the NRA right to their faces but. This is this story it does have something to do with Florida as most, weird stories do because ironically enough when these students from Stoneman, Douglas marched, up, the steps of the Florida House of Representatives, to plead their case for an assault weapons ban Florida. Had other apparently. Far more pertinent, issues on, its plate pornography. We're talking, about pornography. It'll make you blind during. The session this past Tuesday state Rep Ian McGee asked. The house to consider a bill banning assault weapons saying I ask, that you keep this bill in the conversation, about the solution to combat mass shootings alive the shooting at Parkland demands extraordinary. Action since. This is Florida we're talking about here it didn't take very long for the house to vote down that motion three, whole minutes but. Now that Florida was temporarily. Done wasting, time with whole guns are bad nonsense, it was time to move on to the important, issues affecting the health and well-being of Floridians with, Representative. Ross Panos resolution, to declare pornography. A public, health risk there, we go yeah finally according. To the Associated, Press Spano. Said there's research showing the connection between pornography's. And mental, and physical illnesses, forming, and maintaining intimate relationships, and deviant.

Sexual. Behavior. The resolution, states a need for education research, and policy changes to protect Floridians, especially. Teenagers, from, pornography and. Also that during a debate represent. Representative, Carlos Guillermo Smith ASP Spano if pornography, has killed or physically injured anyone he went one step further and asking span with pornography has caused any first, responders, to seek counseling man, who said he didn't know, well. Despite the fact that Spano couldn't confirm or deny that. Someone could have potentially, open up a porno mag and had their face melted by the mere sight of an untamed, Minj the. Resolution. Was voted on and passed in, the House, of Representatives giving. Us one hell of a headline that will confuse the hell out of future generations Florida. House refuses, to debate guns declares. Porn dangerous. Never. Changed Florida actually. Thanks. Change maybe change the least change now. I kind. Of feel like I'm, getting, duped by reality with all this news but speaking, of getting duped let's, move on to something a bit more fun there's, one classic, method of trickery that works ninety-nine percent of the time it's, the old scam where you sit on your buddy's shoulders and obscure the fact that you are in fact two, people by wearing a long trench coat and a matching. Hat in. Most cases the person you're interacting with and probably purchasing. A single admission ticket from is completely. Oblivious of the fact that you aren't actually, an abnormally, tall man, shibby gets roasted by ticket, takers all the time but they got the trench coat shippi sir. Are you sure that you are not to children's definitely their belly button just coughing me. Yeah, but you do this and you got two tickets for the price of one it's genius um unfortunately. A pair of resourceful, youths who tried this method at a movie theater last weekend while trying to get it to get for Black Panther were somehow. Caught, by an eagle-eyed. Movie theater cashier, who should probably be putting their skills of deduction to good use over at the CIA at the ticket counter incredible, the big deposit in. All seriousness though this, is one of the funniest things that you've ever seen yes I laughed for hours.

And Then I went back to watch the video again and laughed again it still makes me laugh it's hard to even explain why it's funny like it's ridiculous, it's absurd we, don't even know where this happened or any background information about it all we have is a video at a photo both posted Twitter by someone called Pillsbury, yeah they even wore that fedora to complete the look for totally. Inconspicuous, tall, adult male but alas it didn't work my. Favorite part is the video is hilarious on its own but then when you see the still image of how young the, kid on top looks it's like because, it always just pg-13. So they have to be younger than 13, well. Maybe. Maybe maybe, or this is, how they get around now they're like probably they're old enough to see the movie but want to pay full, price but you take it yeah but anyway yeah it didn't work probably. Because this. Only ever works in movies and on TV news. Stories are calling what they did the tall man. But, over on TV Tropes a website, that is dedicated to proving that originality is, dead it's, referred, to as the totem-pole trench, and yeah. You, go there it has appeared in a ton of stuff probably, most famously in The Little Rascals where the kids try to get a bank loan from Mel Brooks, but. Also more recently in Bojack horseman with, Vincent, adult man and on. The Eric Andre show where Eric Andre himself it's a car dealership while extremely tall and it's turned away because the owner don't trust like that the. Best part is in the Eric Andre one the way he walks. The. Guy the bottom of super. Wide I. Just. Love his like swinging arms to act like he's walking like the momentum is real. In. Any case I locked a black car, hello. Fellow adult in. Any case those boys are American, heroes for, earnestly. Attempting, a form of trickery that only ever works in cartoons out out in the real world and I. If. I was a ticket taker I would have just let him have got moxie yeah that is maximum I would have I if I was there I would have offered to buy the second - yeah you guys go this was totally worth it but. Speaking of American heroes, we should check in on those big, games, of print Korea weird still not sure if we ought to say Olympics or not those big ring games yeah the big ring games last, week we told you about American, hero red Gerard who won gold after missing his morning alarm clock and was greeted at the finish line by as heavily inebriated, family now, let's meet Liz Swaney an American, woman who managed to compete in the ladies halfpipe, skiing event, not. Because of any real skill, but thanks, to some loopholes and a little. Bit of luck and plenty, of moxie, you see it turns out the women's halfpipe skiing of it doesn't, have a whole lot of athletes, trying to compete in it it's a very small pool of athletes worldwide, so that alone gives anyone even, remotely. Interested, in competing a much better chance than. Most other event still, though Liz Sweeney is American and the US is one of the few countries with plenty of skilled athletes already competing in this particular, event so. A while, back she. Started flying out to qualifier, events around the world and competing, under the Hungarian, flag which, was, perfectly, acceptable apparently, because her, grandparents, were Hungarian, and despite. Giving totally. Mediocre. Performances. In all of those events she. Sometimes still managed to knock it last place simply, because other athletes, fell and she did not yeah she's got a good center. Of gravity yeah so, uh yeah that all somehow added, up to loose, Lanie getting to compete in the Pyeongchang, Winter Olympics. The. Qualifiers, at least now shockingly, her performance, in the qualifying round which involved, not a single trick did, not allow her to advance to the next round, she got last place damn it turns out zigzagging. Down a halfpipe can only get you so far, it'll. Only get you to the Olympic God winning. That's a different story and Liz Swaney isn't. Even the only completely unqualified Olympian, to compete in the past week everyone. Remembers that greased up shirtless, tongin dude from the Brazil, Olympics Opening Ceremony well, that guy PETA tofua, competed. In Taekwondo. Back in Rio and then shortly thereafter decided. It I like the Olympics I like, the attention I'm getting this is great I'm gonna compete in cross-country, skiing at the Winter Olympics despite zero. Experience, and the fact that he's, from, Tonga.

And. Despite, training mostly on long rollerblades, and having only trained on real snow for 12 weeks leading up to Pyeongchang, he. Still managed to not end up in dead last in the 15 kilometer freestyle, race he, came in 114th. Place out of 119. Mhm the, person who did come in dead last was Herman madrazo a 43. Year old Mexican businessman, and triathlete, who. Similarly. Entered, cross-country skiing simply just to have something to do and yeah. If. This all sounds really familiar it's because almost exactly a year ago on the show we talked about Adrian, Solano a venezuelan. Skier whose first time actually skiing, on snow was, at the 2017, Nordic, World Ski Championships. And. He. Was the talk of the town yeah unfortunately. Adrian. Solano did not compete in Pyeongchang is here but he says he does plan to represent Venezuela at the 2022, Winter Olympics in Beijing so got, time to practice they should just give, them their own category. There should be Olympic sports for people who have never, tried the sport up until a year, left. It'd be a lot of fun to watch yeah I will say the Hat here, way, better than I am at skiing yeah. She. Even caught air she did like a backside, thing, I don't know if it was intentional it, was like a switch backside it. Was just like hey she, landed it there, you go but, enough Olympic fun let's. Move on to headline, oh yeah I remember we said how Florida a little. Bit weird ever they did. That thing where they they didn't do anything about oh. They have they solved the problem though yeah it's all problem about the real solution, Florida House approves, build a post in god we trust' in all public schools and now when a shooter walks in he's gonna be like oh. What the, god we trust' plaque ah I, thought it's gonna burn it oh. Damn. Yeah the gun just lops over like a limp dick I. Should, just for full transparency sake this way this bill was put forward by a Democrat, who's. Also a minister and, her, argument behind it was like yeah we got a little bit of a gun problem but the real problem is. We've. Taken God out of school mm-hmm also. Video. Games yeah. It's big so, good. Job all those mass shootings in Japan and South Korea yeah. Video games at it again mm-hmm. Church. Asks, worshippers, to bring ar-15. Rifles, for blessing ceremony near elementary, school well there'd, the at least God's on top of it see, yeah and also for full transparency again this, is a not, your typical evangelical. Church this is a branch. Of the, unification. Church a weird South Korean cult. Ministry. Come. Hey well that's why they don't have shootings they're not only known as Muniz you know the church, is in America yeah I know they've expanded yeah they had a great job they brought the the right God to America the one who stops all the shootings yeah yeah they're really into guns are you bring your ar-15 and they planned this before the whole school shooting and they're like you know what we're. Not gonna let some major, tragedy. Get in the way of our plans, ar-15. Blessing ceremony, yeah, stay the course well. Like. That NRA spokesperson, said. On the news. Owning. A gun is a god-given right, God cuz yeah that's right God. When God wrote, the caucasian and handed it down on yeah on golden, tablets, yeah, George. Washington, and Thomas jeferson they were like hey listen here's, some seer stones you're all you're the only one allowed to read this don't show anyone yeah don't show anyone or it's weird, don't change anything, yeah I sent my son and a bunch of a-salt right I will smite, you you're. Gonna get smited. Child. Marriages any okay say 50 Missouri lawmakers. Yeah. I mean they still banned child, they so. That the, bill in Missouri was hey maybe we shouldn't allow anyone under 14 to get married under any circumstances. And it's still passed but not. By a lot fifty, people in Missouri 50, elected, legislators, said no. No. This, is wrong we should allow it yeah and the, whole reason behind it is like over. The whole reason behind the bill is apparently, Missouri is, a hotbed. Of human.

Trafficking Wouldn't you believe it they yeah they, bring. Their their child sex slaves to Missouri go, in front of a judge and the judge has no, legal right to ask any questions, other than like you. Guys down to get married all. Right, freedom. Yeah. Big. Government, stepping, in again EPA. Head says he needs to fly first class because people, are mean to him in coach oh I'm. Sorry snowflake. I'm Scott Pruett no I'm no snow, flake the thing is, no. One should know who you are unless, you. Up so bad that they, know who you are that's a good point he's, also he's the first EPA, chief. In, history. To. Have a 24-hour, security, detail. With him at all time costing. Taxpayers a lot, of money well. Hey. We. Want to eat a Guy Fieri's restaurant so. We need this guy in first class flying. Around deregulating, everything if he really wants to up the environment he should just get a whole plane for himself yeah, just fly a 747, now you should take yourself as he should. Only go on cruise, lines to every location that's true yeah just. Leaving a trail of soot in the ocean and use, a fuel mixtures like it burns cold yeah no he means what he needs to get a role in coal isn't is an old locomotive that he himself shovels. Beautiful. Clean coal into and just. Run, rolls coal out the top and that's, he gets around and he's just covered in soot if I had time he gets there yeah. He. Needs to walk into the White House dressed like Dick. Van Dyke yeah. Mary Poppins, yeah Trivedi the. Only way I'll take him serious yeah, and it also it'll look like he has black face on all the time true. Another added bonus. Jimmy. Buffett's Broadway show escaped to Margaritaville, reportedly, runs out of margaritas, I mean, did. You expect. Anything less. They. Didn't plan like hey where's my last shaker of salt someone. Stole it. Do. They also offer cheeseburgers. In paradise ready for the meal and that I would hope so yeah apparently like the theater that this is playing out on Broadway they're like we sold more drinks, in the opening, night of Margaritaville, than we've ever sold.

It Any show ever it's brilliant, they encourage, you to get shit-faced, yeah and escape to Margaritaville, yeah and ever. They sold out of probably hats. Shaped like Parrotheads, - yeah, yeah I mean it's great for the economy we need more Jimmy Buffett musical although in the I can't wait for the touring production, oh it. Always takes like five years to come to LA coming out yeah, you. Need a front line it get in front who wants to go see Aladdin or the waitress oh. Yeah. Are, they also in the article, to revealed uh Jimmy Buffett he, doesn't drink margaritas anymore, he's. Like I cut out sugar I am. Gonna drink it's. Gonna be tequila, and water. On the rocks yeah it's, like when I found out that Simon, Pegg doesn't actually drink yeah a lot, of people don't actually drink yeah fake beer fake beer. Scientists. Thrill as woman, finds 14, worms in her eye oh hey. Finally something to pick a she's got 14 words this is amazing, yeah they're. Excited because it doesn't happen often yeah, usually happens to count Wow. You're an anomaly, I think. There's, worms, crawling, around in my skull that is great, get, over here yeah she kept seeing those little eye bugs they catch when you're looking around and. Then she's like those are ones actually. Worms. Appealing. Japanese. Farmers invent, edible banana skin I've, got. To get my hands on these I want to walk around in public with just, a full, bananas, you. Like those guys that eat onions yeah I want. Like order these just, so I can do, that all, the time the joke would never get old for me just seeing people react to me just get. In line for something. You. Know way they leave the how, long it would take the first person to try to correct you on how to eat a banana sir. So. Are they growing these I would burden a do they take bananas and then rewrap when they get a crate, in these, thing do they walk or asking do they rewrap, them or de grow them like this a grown. Like that they they, just took out some like they. Engineered. It to not, have some, chemical in the skin so now the skin is like way thinner still, looks like a banana this is the skins way thinner and it's like it. Apparently just tastes sort of like the. Edges. Of like pineapple, mmm, where it's like kind of just tasteless and sort of sweet yeah. I hate bananas so I'll let you do the experiment I believe I'm gonna get a crate. Of these sent over from Japan. You should wear them on your head and then pick one down and eat the entire thing in front of people yeah. Study. Claims two drinks a day more, likely to extend life past 90 than exercise, well I'm, gonna live forever I'm going to live forever. Did they what, drinks are these these are like two waters right like two glasses of wine yeah. Headlines. Dumb cuz it's like the, best solution, would be to exercise. And, drink. Two. Glasses of. Wine a day yeah, you. Know why not both yeah, but, yeah, apparently they're just like yeah there's a common thread among people that live really, old and it's. Boots. Yeah helps, them cope with the harsh, realities, of life it's like think you want to make you want to make a cucumber last razón, pickle. That mm-hmm. Yourself. Lush life yeah you just shrink down yeah. Yeah. Woman. Sues California, Department of Fish and Wildlife for ignoring the existence, of Bigfoot. Yes. She she, claims that she. Was up at Lake Arrowhead 90, minutes outside of Los Angeles and, heard her kids saw a sasquatch, climbing, up a tree so, she climb now yeah, that's what she said so she called up the local.

Park. Rangers or whatever she's like you guys got to get out there there's a sasquatch, up in the tree she's like a SRAM squint well ma'am you see like this area is full of black bears and they are known to climb. Trees it was probably a black bear Lisa nope Sasquatch. And, she's been on a crusade. Just. Admit it admit there's sasquatches, all over the plates it's literally, a comparison. To people who can't be told that they're wrong online yeah, they'll go to the edges, of the earth the flat, edges of the Flat Earth to. Prove their point yeah yeah, so I mean good, on her she's like that Goldfarb, lady where's and they approached, her on their front lawn like sorry ma'am, II know that you've been communicating. With, Russians. Right she's like no I don't talk to any Russians like well you literally reposted. All. Of their things verbatim, that they were posting on, their. Facebook, page that is in the indictment, nope, never, dealt with the Russians, you guys are fake news. Lalalalala. Steven. Seagal becomes face of new cryptocurrency Bitcoin, -, Jen. Sounds. Legit to me I mean if steven seagal is involved it. Has a mark of qualities that yeah and master yeah the seal of excellence I, dare. You to walk up to Steven Seagal and do a very slow. And exaggerated, punch he will use his Aikido skills to, stop you yeah just. Don't try any fast movements it doesn't really work as well for that but yeah it'll stop this. Punch. He. Lives in Russia now right he does and he's put, he's endorsing guns over there he's, he's buddy-buddy, with Putin they did they spar together. Yeah. Yeah. Hey let's Putin, hit him every once in a while wow wow you're so good oh my god you, really are the greatest I dodge everything you. Got me have my black belt mm-hmm, man's, excessive. Farting, in flight forces. Airplane to make emergency landing I get gassy on a plate this. Old man this, old man this old man d-did too, he tooted the hole he this is like a flight I, believe. It was a Dutch flight but oh he was doing the old Dutch oven yeah. Chuffing. The whole, plane yeah and doing, it loudly and people around and we're like hey cut. It out he's, like. Do. It right into the seat where you can't hear it I'm nine yelling oh what are you gonna do yeah, and so I like that I like the idea that he instead of just shooting it straight into the seat like everyone else does leaned, over to get that, what are you gonna do I'm old the echo on the lemma so. People were yelling at him even the pilot was like sir series, we're. Smelling it up here uh yeah. Eventually like, with a man and 12 E please stop, flatulating. Yeah fight broke out oh the, anti fart team got in fights with like the pro fart team and they had just had to land the plane bunch of people got arrested two. Women who got taken off the flat are now suing the airline cuz they're like we had nothing to do with it they just ejected our whole row yeah, we missed like what, we were trying to get to park gate yeah no big. Problem. There. Must've been some bad farts I mean. Audibly. Yeah it sucks more, smell though yeah, I knew. It who you'd imagine that a 90 year old person's farts smell really bad yeah. You. Have like dusty, old attic up there dead, raccoons it he might have had the crumbs you know I don't, know just put him in the bathroom, gazecki the. Sound it would have to be loud as to hear that over over an airplane engine it have to be the smell which. That. Would have to be a very bad smell yeah. Yeah. Cuz this things like pressurized. It's. True it doesn't really linger but, for, him if he's just letting it hang out just a floppy loose, asshole, just leaking. Gas the whole time yeah it's, a it's, biological, warfare say, what you want too much of those Dutch pancakes, that man is a terry put cheese on the pancakes, it's, pretty good actually yeah well causes, you some nasty farts yeah well, anyway that's our show this week be sure to watch the new episode of tugs about how uh. Pub. G's dying or something I think yeah I'm like that yeah pub G get it out get it out also, a new episode of tech news day about how all you dang crypto, miners you're. Stopping us from meeting the aliens yeah we're never gonna meet the aliens cuz you're mining crypto you. And Steven Seagal go to a room somewhere go get a room in space. Alright. Bye.

2018-03-02 12:11

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There's an article on I fucken love science about a guy that was holding in a shit just to avoid drug charges this week

The movie theatre story happened at the Moreno Valley mall. Next to riverside.

Sadly the next county over voted to allow teachers to have concealed weapons in class

Best wishes future self February 23, 2018 ETC 2020

Mayb Florida should display a deviant sex act just above the in god we trust quote in every school to melt the faces off of any would-be shooters

Any banana peel is edible if you hate yourself

Actually the sr-71 (the fastest aircraft that doesnt use rockets) was originally designed to run off a "coal slurry"

look at the RTJ shirt big ups

My god Florida is full of asshole politicians. How can you be that damn stupid.

Might want to make a list of those 50 Missouri politicians that voted against the pedo-law. Those people need to have their basements checked.....

Etc, I never comment on videos but I've always watched your content religiously. You guys are amazing. Keep up the good work. Lately I've been sleepless and found my cure...which is playing your videos at a low volume and it always works like a charm. It's hilarious but true. Don't mean anything negative.

My wife and I watch every episode you guys put out. It's so damn nice to know we aren't the only ones that think the world is going down the toilet. FYI we live in central PA. Keep up the great work!

You guys know fuck all about solutions to gun laws. There are so many other ways kill. Yes without guns it may be a little harder to kill but if someone still really wants to theres always the option of pulling a fire alarm, having stole a large truck and mowing people down outside... You could also, if you were so inclined sabotage some of the key exits preemptively and then go on a killing spree with a samurai sword(thats also legal).

We need better screening, period. Watch when you take our gun rights kids and terrorists will just get more and more resourceful/creative. What about poisoning the schools cafeteria food I'm sure theres guides online where you could learn how to make the poison. As long as the human body is weak there are and will ways be easy ways to kill it.

You guy mocking the “In God We Trust” sign saying how it won’t stop anyone just helps to enforce the fact that a ban or any other gun control law wouldn’t do anything. You two are so naive when it comes to guns and violence.

i miss the Florida news section

When people started dating due to politics, there was a 15 year war

I sent my son, aaaaaand a bunch of assault rifles

The trench coat thing happened in a Moreno valley mall. I recognized everything there. I leave right near there, I just wish that i was there for this XD

Nah man... Furfling's where it's at. With those... With those, uh... "Creative" advertisements.

You Americans still alive ? It's a matter of time untill Little Rocket Man and your McDonald Binger do "Docking" with their Nuclear Warheads haha RiP U.S.A "You were never Great to begin with Ha!"

What's the name of the Trench coat show?

Good writing on this one. Great job guys!

898k wooo finally made it boissss!!!!

You know Hannity has an admin login, and makes calls to any chicks with all her teeth.

A big foot researcher is suing I believe the government of BC for not acknowledging the existence of big foot! So we'll see where that goes...

You huys have become my main source of news over the last few years. That kid stacking trench coat thing was so damn hilarious! I laughed for 2 solid minutes

Guy Fiere isnt even his real name. That tools real name is Guy FERRY. No mispronunciations on that. Its pronounced "fairy". Id like to smack the bleached goatee right off that douches face.

Up here in good ole michigan we're having active shooter drills that are basically required to be at. Can't wait to see how that goes

Porn legit is dangerous tho

Dope RTJ shirt

How come these are the same websites Chris Raygun made a video about? Did you find it in the same article or what?

I love using bigger city :)

They should just laminate those 'In God We Trust' plaques so it's easier to wipe the blood off.

Both my father and grandfather have Celiac's Disease, so it is very unlikely that I won't have it. "Gluten free" people are extremely annoying.

Yes, cause I really want to bang a racist, bigot, xenophobic, new Earth creationist, religiously indoctrinated redneck chick... Always been my dream :)).


So, no banning guns, but porn, that's the real problem...Alright, thank you for validating my hatred for people.

You guys are fantastic

Loving the RTJ t-shirt!

Why do you guys read stuff out loud while showing the exact same thing on screen?



i saw some dudes installing solar panels on a roof. i had to stop myself from yelling up at them: those solar panels were mean and ruefull of the american dream and they should be true patriots installing a beautiful clean coal burner up there. jimmy buffet has iconic music for sure. if your into reading his books are even more amazing. where is joe merchant? is about a rock star with amnesia; who's become a mercenary in the caribbean; but starts getting his memory back.. and there's a tales from margaritaville that was a new york times best seller in the 80's i believe. pretty good short story collection.

You're not gonna ban "assault weapons" in America. Sorry.

great job guys love the video

There was also a happily married option, which if you’re really HAPPILY married, IDK why you’re on a dating site unless it’s an open/poly relationship and you’re looking for that third person. Only thing I can think of.

You can eat normal banana skin it just tastes bad

the last headline discussion was HILARIOUS

I that a photo of Steve and Larson in the back?

You guys watch TPB??

Chris ray gun fans?

Byron Damalis Botha Chris used one of their clips in his video about the 2016 Ghostbusters movie. They're probably aware of each other's content.

Anyone else got a Hellcase ad at the start and died?

Banana peels ARE edible...

Mass shootings are not a result of gun variety, but a lack of security in schools and other places and a lack of psychologically check ups or evaluations in America. The solution is hire armed guards for schools High schools should have psychiatrists to have students go through required evaluation, and to have a self defense/ gun safety class. The AR-15 is not the problem The shooter could have as easily ran over 40 people with a truck or have bought other weapons. Guns are not the issue if anything it’s a lack of guns per capita and strict gun laws. Cali and NY have struck gun laws and they have the most crime.

But hey, here's the thing. Let's say he didn't have an AR and just a standard pistol. He probably wouldn't have killed as many kids as he did that way. I didn't find any reason for automatic weapons to be in civilian hands, They're too dangerous.

kyle so the solution is a police state then? More guns doesnt solve the problem. Of course cutting healthcare and psychological help doesnt help either. Neither does law enforcement failing its job either.

that worm girl goes to my university!!

Grant Schmechel please, PLEASE don't continue with your plans to abduct and rape her...please...

boy, you guys are faggots...((sigh))

If I was that cashier, I woulda sold em 1 ticket and let em through lol

I want those bananas

Barrett Deplora-berger

Only Florida could say porn is bad and doesn't care about gun control. Good job morons, good job.

I think there's a grain of truth that porn can have some negative effects, but there are a lot of things that can also do that, watching excessive television, playing games for like 12 hours a day, etc. Moderation is a good thing, and some people can't control themselves. Mostly I think the problem lies in people just jerking it, rather than going out and actually meeting someone, and then it negatively impacts their life. You aren't gonna go blind, but it can have unwanted effects, and some effects on your personality (at least speaking for men, it seems to release some testosterone, which can be bad if done in excess). But calling it a public health crisis is laughable, and good luck banning it lmfao. I'd say the vast majority of people can have a healthy relationship with it, and not go overboard. What are they gonna do, censor the internet?

If you can say McDonalds and Fuck, there's no reason you shouldn't be allowed to SAY Olympics.

oh great, it's easier for them to breed now

Do it on the show the banana thing.


Korean Jesus is the only effective deity

im going to pickle myself right now

farts coming out of a rotting, 90 year old bowel are bound to smell bad

Bitcoiin2gen is the one I'm investing in if Steven Segal is backing it.

I agree with the kids we really need to pass the asualt weapons ban of 1994.

Gays are WRONG... but cheating on your wife/husband? A--OK!!!!

Well, I was gonna masturbate after watching this, but thanks to Rickey's extended bit about dirty floppy old man assholes, I never want to masturbate again

Chris Fleming did a great bit on Jimmy Buffet. I recommend seeing it if you have time.

Here's the solution -- only show pornography with women holding guns! Boom! Problem solved!

Ricky's sweaty hair draped on his forehead makes me want to rip my eyes out

did he have an la valiant hat? VALIANT

Can we just get two kids in a trench coat to compete at the Olympics next time. Just to tie a nice bow on these stories.

You can bite through regular banana peels if you have the moxie!

Equestrian Singles profile: “I need someone who is JRHNBR”

Get some rest guys!...

looking a little Furry yourself Elliot!

Hey Ricky, for the next episode, can you comb your hair?

Trump Dating : "Where the elite meet to suck off Wall Street."

That guy on the right is getting very fat.

I don't trust like that

Leave porn alone

Stop doing coke Rick!

Why is Ricky so sweaty?

Just cut off Florida and let it float away

FamersOnly... Germany turned that into a reality show. Get on our level.

i dont drink either fellas :)

american hwhite people never fail to entertain. Edit; i was referring to the hwhite people in the new headlines, but these 2 hwhite fellas are also entertaining

My dad voted for McCain and my mom voted for Obama and they're still happily married.

Met my wife on OkCupid and she hasn’t murdered me yet. So far so good.

On one hand I hate that your sub count is dropping. On the other hand, after reading comments you guys get, I can't wait for the rest of these dipshit twats that come around here to disappear. So many half retarded far right wing whinny bitches.

Did Ricky just come in from a run or something? Or is he fevered? His hair looks all matted. Just curious

its so sad that youtube channels is going political instead of providing good content. i expect these democrats to make a video about a democrat dating channel too

I just recently discovered Run The Jewels. I like the shirt, Ricky

I honestly love the two guys in the trench coat. I had a good laugh. This is how pranks should go down. No one got hurt, everyone had a good time.

We put Cheese on Pancakes? Wut? that's not really a thing.

Ooooh, I can hear the triggered keystrokes of Trump supporters already.

To be fair though, there are studies that show that current pornography trends are unhealthy for teenagers and relationships in I agree with that one. However, they really needed to deal with the gun issue first.

The 2 people thing was at the Moreno valley mall lol

you know how you make America great again, Get rid of Trump

Lol, an "In God We Trust" sign is gonna be just as effective as a no guns allowed sign.

who is the patron saint of shooting people?

Omg Rick is fat!

I prefer kids doing the tall man prank over kids doing the slender man prank. Its a lot less stabby.

The truth of the matter is that it's incredibly important to have similar political beliefs. This isn't a fantasy world.

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