September Vlog [CC]

September Vlog [CC]

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I. Don't. Think I've spoken. Yet on this vlog this month before. I even start, my. Face looks, horrible. I'm. Okay I fainted. Earlier today. Because sometimes, like I have, rather low, blood, pressure and sometimes my, circulation, just flows it and today. I was sitting on a chair and. Then, I got really dizzy and then I fainted and I. Yeah. Fell on my face, so. I look it, doesn't even look as bad on camera as it looks like when I look in the mirror I look a bit like someone punched me in the face, but I'm okay nothing, happened except, that you, know I lost consciousness for a few minutes but. That's beside the point, I just wanted to put this out there because. It does look kind of horrible but anyways. It. Is the 8th, of September, I have. Not spoken yet on this vlog because. I'm not found, much yeah which, is something I feel like every time I film myself. Talking, I say oh I haven't filmed much I need to film more you know but, I'm actually going to try and do that so, it's, the 8th of September, so. Far I have not I have actually, done quite a lot I was just gonna say I haven't done much boy did, I have so. If, you watched my August vlog at. The end of that vlog I said that I was, going to my friend's birthday party and, that I picked up the van for the theatre company that I sometimes work for and so. The, 31st. Of August was, my friend's birthday party so, the 1st of September was a day that I spent. In bed trying to survive my hangover, and then, the second. To the fifth of September I spent working for. This theatre. And. Then I got back in on. Wednesday, evening, and it's now Saturday. And, I've, just spent yeah. Thursday Friday and today mostly. In bed I did. Want to do stuff today but then rather early on in the morning I fainted so I thought okay I think the best thing to do for myself as stay, in bed another day like, I did go out buy like I didn't didn't. Do as much as I want it but. Yeah so that was. What happened for the past couple of days I do have, to get some stuff done I've been putting. Off some like, just. Organization. Stuff some. Cleaning. My room stuff, so I'm just boring. That no one wants to do, I've been putting that off but I really need to get that done so. That's sort of a plan for the month I'm also going to try and go out a bit more because there is a forest, rather, close to where I live and it's. Really, pretty, usually, in, autumn. Especially, in September so. I'm gonna try and go out film. Some stuff I'm. Generally, I really want to try and I know I say this every time but I really want to try and be, better at just, filming. Stuff and not just myself talking, because. The, thing is I just still, feel so awkward. Pulling. Out a camera and filming when, I'm somewhere. Outside but. I need to get better at that and the only way I can do that is feel. Awkward for a bit and do it so that's. Why I'm gonna try and do, just. Want to kind, of start. This with talking, because there have been a few clips I guess. The. Way I'm going to edit it there probably, have but a few clips I will speak to when there is something else to say. Coming. Up Andre, and, the cuff that was the money of their decided to tell me she. Was so true. She's. So sweet. Fudge. You. Love. Her she's. A big distraction. So. I'm currently like, in the process of gained, therapy. So. I do have a therapist, I'm gonna like, do, the thing with and. We. Are about to like do the whole. The. Paperwork's, about my insurance, covers. It but in, order to do that I. Have. To, make. An appointment with my GP, and have, like an actual doctor also say this, bitch needs therapy and, you. Know that my insurance has to cover it and I'm. Just saying here I'm able, to call her. Doctor's. Office and. It's. Just I just can't stop thinking about like how many people, probably. Never. Go to therapy, like. Especially people with anxiety. Because. They are too anxious to make phone calls because, it takes so many stupid. Phone calls, to. To, do all the you, know so, I'm. Having a really hard time. And. I'm really frustrated about. The. Lack of. Ability. To do stuff, online I, have, to call in and I'm. Too anxious. So. That. That's, fun I'm, like, procrastinating. Doing a lot of different things that I also have to be doing by, really. Need to do this phone call. By. A car. I. Hate. This. Vallabha. Good fielding tank.

Cheese. I love, blech. So. I managed, to do the phone call I'm, still, stressed. As, but. I'm. Gonna, try and let myself fall, into, this, anxiety. Depression. Hole. That, I would fall into if I stayed, home now so. What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna go out I'm gonna go to campus, and I'm gonna, work. And. I. Really, don't feel like it like, you. Know this. Star. Kid like one of them musicals, and like. I'm. Gonna do that because. Then I, have. Something to do rather, than sit around and, think. Brian. Oh. So. I'm a terrible blogger and haven't even spoken, yet my sister and I I think she doesn't want to be in the video right now because she's. Very sleepy, and hasn't, taken a shower yeah well, we're in London and, it's. Our second, day now it's rather. Early in the morning like, not early, it's like 8:30 but. We're yeah. We, have we've been up for a bit and. We're. About hotel, after, you've. Taken a shower. So. Once. I were talking quietly because there are other people here and I'm feeling, over but, yeah today we're. Going to meet, up with our a, B&B hers from last year. Hopefully. Also commercial in Britain. We're, gonna go out for drinks. My. Our formal, English. Teacher from high school because he happens to be in London at. The same time with us which. Is fun we. Are so that's the plan for today I am, really bored to, everything. I'm. Gonna stop talking how because the street is too loud anyways. We're. Doing a local site. The. Sun isn't I've actually I can't raised in me but it's Wednesday we're, on, a walk by the canal, and it's really really nice it's, really true and. It's really warm so, good. You. I'm. Sorry bad at this blogging thing but, it's now Thursday. The, 27th, and I, saw. The Meuse replic yesterday, I feel, so good it's. Just such a good musical, it's, the third time I saw work because that's that's. The type of person that I've become, and. Now. Today, we're. Actually doing the thing we came to London for we're. Just going to see another musical, we're just going to see how Martin I. Don't. Think I'm emotionally. Prepared. For this, I'm. Really excited but I'm also. Yeah. It, really see myself crying. A lot so, that's gonna be fun, when. We go into the afternoon performance. And, is like 10:00. Now so, we should head out in a, bit like we have to be there at like 1:00 so we do have some time we, do also want to you know walk around a bit in town um, but.

Yeah So we're think Hamilton today which. I'm just so so. So very excited, for oh my, god I'm. Just so excited. So. We just go back into our, flap. And. I. Am. Dead I, just. That. Was one. Of the most emotional. Roller. Coasters, I've ever been on like I, spent. Almost the entirety, of the play crying they. Even in the first act. Apart, from Lawrence's, death there. Is nothing that's yeah, that was my sister. There is nothing sad, in the first act but not really. Really sad but. I just cried, and, cried and cried like, it's. So good the, choreography. Is so good all, the actors are so good like, I didn't really love birth boys I did. She, did I. Didn't, really love him but oh my. God and, then just the second act I just I barely, stopped. Crying, so. I came, out of there looking, like a hot mess and yeah, so I was very. Emotional. But, it was so good yeah. It was so so, so so good and, I feel so blessed I can't, just think it's musica, oh my, god, and now I'm, so good and now we're just gonna spend the, evening. Crying. Probably.

2018-10-09 16:15

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Everytime you open your mouth: “I’m such a bad vlogger.” Also: HAMILTON (Sir, he knows what to do in a trench, ingenuitive and fluent in French, I mean-) All in all 10/10 because I even made it to the thumbnail this time!

FredeReads Honestly really one of a most coolest friend

I just feel like I talk so little :0 YES Yes.

I thought you said you were going to see Hamlet, and was wondering why you would be crying

Hahah I mean there is a Macbeth reference in Hamilton so the two are definitely connected :D Yes I did buy seven books, my TBR Update should go up in about half an hour from me writing this reply now :-)

Hi, Frede! This was really nice to watch. Some brief comments: I'm still not sure whether knowing others have faced similar difficulties is actually helpful, but I'll share that my first attempt at seeing a psychiatrist was quite a difficult experience. I was alone and, as I waited to be called, I had a sort of panic attack (something I had never ever had before) and simply could not do it: in an impulse, I left the place as fast as I could before being called by the doctor, crying desperately like an idiot in the middle of the street. So yes, the beginning is indeed tough (I think I had to make amends with myself and admit/accept that I needed help, you know?); therefore I think I have an idea of what this sentiment you described is like. I hope all goes well with your therapy. Were there really that many copyists at the National Gallery as your video suggests? I think It's so interesting. It caught my attention because I've joined Inktober as, let's say, a copyist wannabe haha. I'm using the official prompts to copy some art pieces with ink; but I'm not posting (not an artist), it's just a kind of recreational therapy activity. HAMILTON!! Haha, you must have had a wonderful time. I totally get your crying. Without going into details, I'll just say that the verse "Look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now" kills me every goddamned time. Today was a horrible day for me, but It was lovely watching snippets of your trip; so thanks for sharing. ;)

I really dig that flamingo shirt on you :D

+FredeReads I saw sth like this with giant cats on it over herr

Best piece of clothing I own tbh

I love your monthly vlogs, Frede. And throughout this I just wanted to shout out all the adorable animals you captured on film. Like piglet! Cats! Dinosaur!

Thank you so much Silje! Not nearly as many people who watch my book videos watch my vlogs but I don't really care because they're just such fun to put together :-) God I wish you could make doctor's appointments online here. Germans are somewhat obsessed with data protection so I feel like an app for booking appointments is never gonna happen here hahah I know right, I couldn't quite believe I was getting to do all these wonderful things either

Frede: “There’s nothing sad in the first act … except for Laurens’ death” Me: **hold my beer** Aber ungelogen, dafür, dass du 2h am Stück geheult hast, sah dein Gesicht ja noch richtig gut aus. :D Und again, Berlind is my queen… wie sie sich immer vor die Kamera “gedrängt” hat (mir fällt gerade nicht das positive Verb dafür ein, lmao), a fucking queen! My wig? Snatched. My crops? Watered. My skin? Clear. I stan two queens. Und gurl, I feel you, Telefonate sind soooo schlimm, avoid them at all cost! Aber du hast es geschafft. Woo hoo! Fühl dich gedrückt.

Hahahah während ich das gesagt habe dachte ich eig auch dass ich da Stuss rede weil so hammer viel im ersten Akt traurig ist :D Aber halt verglichen mit dem zweiten Akt ist das alles noch mild Jaa das ist aber zum Glück öfter so dass man mir das nicht soo dolle ansieht dass ich geheult habe, besonders bei einem überemotionalen Menschen wie mir ist das sehr praktisch :D

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