Spoken Word Poet Ebony Stewart at IU Southeast 2/4/21 (contains strong language and adult content)

Spoken Word Poet Ebony Stewart at IU Southeast 2/4/21 (contains strong language and adult content)

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and thanks for joining us today my name  is nikki green and i'm responsible for   coordinating violence prevention programming here  at iu southeast i also serve as an advisor to   it's on us so if you are interested in getting  more information about the it's on a student   organization here please email me at a n green  iu.edu and um we can talk and i'll share some   more information about that um but today we are  super excited to welcome miss ebony stewart um she   is an award-winning poet and storyteller and she  has a powerful voice and a drive to make an impact   she is a woman of many talents as she wears the  hat of a community leader advocate and facilitator   in addition to being an internationally  touring poet and performance artist ebony is   also a published author and a woman of the world  excuse me yeah woman of the world slam champion   her work speaks to the black experience with  emphasis on gender sexuality womanhood and race   with the hopes to be relatable remove shame  heal minds encourage dialogue and inspire folks   in marginalized communities so we are  super excited to have you here today ebony   and i will turn it over to you thank you so much  nikki oh yo like this i already feel really good   i hope you are feeling good too my name is  ebony stewart aka the gully princess a.k.a   cupcake and it's a pandemic anyways so let me just  give you a little bit of how this thing is gonna   work right so um in live time via video screen  i'm going to be interacting with you all and   doing poems and stuff like that right and then you  all will respond to me via the chat so i'm talking   to you so when i'm talking to you i'm actually  talking to you don't leave me hanging by myself   this virtuality stuff is weird enough thanks um  so like i'm gonna ask some questions right uh   let's start with this who is your favorite female  superhero or like woman superhero power right   throw it in the chat i just want to see real quick  right um what's basically going to happen i'll do   some poems i'm going to throw a link into the chat  about how you all can ask me anonymous questions   we'll go on do some more poems and then we'll have  the q a yeah so here's this thing um my favorite   female superhero is storm not halle berry storm  but like marvel for real badass storm right   so me and all my ass walk into a bar a club a  runway or just any day and i got my grunge turned   up got an all black everything including my skin  but make no mistake i look good in anything cause   all my amazing popped into bantu a ball the mohawk  i'm so punk rock i got dressed for the dreaded   sister curls on swirl but underneath it all my  nature be natural star studded spiked in a boss   [ __ ] for anybody who want to try me i'm just  saying i'm so hardcore i get to be a black woman   moshing through this pain swimming through  all this pain even while restrained i reclaim   hold me down long enough and i'll figure out how  to turn these chains into a crown bust it down   to make sure a black woman aesthetic magic be  my heritage with the unabashed identity call me   the middle passage guru diy queen yes honey  no matter if it be fashion music art of this   body there ain't an idea you can have without  me bush and tribe behind the way we move and   keep moving non-conforming proper and hood it's a  dichotomy but you're the only one that's confused   made a way out of no way broke the glass not a  ceiling gum you want to act like a black woman   didn't do it haven't done it it won't continue  to school you i made a subject out of myself   so even when they try and stop me copy or erase me  i reboot a futuristic somebody and still stay the   same touched and untouchable boxed and bothered  persistent pierce punk and resisting i got all   this power i can't use made all these impressions  but somehow my bank account got reduced my code   should be endangered cause mainstream get to try  on my attitude steal my face and make all my black   woman trendy without having to give a black woman  credit but i showed up like i've been doing allow   me to reintroduce myself to the anti-establishment  aka black women ben always will be   lit y'all know it's black history month right and  like basically black women around the world so i   just like want to like boost black women period  because it would be a shame i would be remiss   not to uh be reminded and love myself yes oh more  into female heroes who are real life okay leah i   see you with this little shade yes i am a fan of  uh michelle obama you know mother mother michelle   for example for real for real um use reaction  buttons to engage and type snaps i said thank   you you got me um okay so you all are more than  you know welcome to react and respond however   you want to i have this thing that i call echo  what you heard so something resonates with you   maybe you caught something and they hit different  you could just throw that in the chat like it's a   quote or maybe it's just something that happened  for you you can have reactions i know that again   is virtual living right but in the zuma verse  you're still able to have real emotions and   actually you get to have them in private because  you're at your own home uh yes all right so   oh elastigirl yes of course what definitely counts  okay also her body is great anyway um let's see   oh i know what kind of majors do we have in the  room what kind of majors the room huh what majors okay okay okay psychology major hi yeah  business admin hi yeah okay okay oh we got   business biology psychology  nursing business finance okay   psychology major we got a lot of psychology people  in here what's going on y'all teaching must tell   y'all to come to this sociology let's see what  else um english professor writing director   leah and you know what okay uh digital art  english all right okay okay very cool hey   we need all of you yes brilliant i saw a  nurse somewhere in there i don't know if   i mentioned that but um yeah like thank  you so much for being here i'll say this   is there anybody who's undecided because  i know when i was in undergrad y'all i   wanted to be everything seriously and do you  know that just let you keep going to school   yeah they'll just let you keep going 51 you want  to um but the way that my student loans were set   up i had to go ahead and make a decision because  the number was getting very large um so i ended up   finishing with english and communication studies  and i taught ninth grade english for a little   while and then i transitioned into teaching sexual  health to sixth and seventh grade you're welcome   what type of um sexual health education did you  all get growing up let's see that put that in   the chat what type of sexual health education  did you all get growing up what do we have   i'm not sure sometimes you know people like  our silence is a metaphor for like what really   happened but then also some people just take a  shorter amount a longer amount of time to type   misinformation from peers yes that is very true  sometimes we don't know and we think we know and   we can convince our friends that we know what  we're talking about and then they believe us   um scary very clinical oh wow okay very  little information in high school gym class yo   who my tri coach was my sexual health  teacher when i was in high school and   all she talked to us about was how fast we need  to be running i was like girl what is going on   abstinence-based okay so let me tell you whenever  i see the word abstinence i'm like oh that like   almost never works but um there's also this thing  that texas does you know i'm from houston h town   was good but we have like abstinence plus  here and i don't even know what that means   abstinence plus would whatever i want to fill it  in with i don't know that seems goofy to me but   you know whatever surprisingly i got a decent  one despite growing up in the deep south   yo the white people be like low-key kind  of like squatting on top of the south is   i'm not sure how i feel about it because  i'm southern to the day i die but my my   teacher focused heavily on correct information and  destroying the stigma of sex yo your teacher was   dope that's amazing i'm so glad that you got that  very little info from health class in high school   that to be honest with you like these are more  common right this is the more common responses   that i see very minimal because parents at my  um county school were upset sex ed was a thing   i had a um i had a parent tell me  one time we had an info session   and a parent came a bunch of parents one parent  said i don't really see why it's important for my   kids to have sex ed because they're not gonna have  sex until i'm ready for them too and i was like   how did that work also that sound creepy i like  kind of want to turn you into somebody because   do what are you are you planning on being there  and assisting sir what are you talking about so   this is the thing i'm gonna show a video and i'm  also gonna throw a link into the chat and it's   it's pretty much to say like um it's i'll say  this if you've never talked to a sixth grade boy   about his penis you have not lived you don't  know anything they are very peculiar individuals   but i do miss teaching sex ed only because the  anonymous box questions were so juicy and full   and plentiful and added for a very um welcoming  learning experience so because i don't get to   teach sexual health um in a classroom anymore  usually when we're able to travel i go across   the country and i talk about sex relationships  body image dating and if people you know don't   need me for that i got that all figured out they  can ask me questions about myself i'm gonna throw   a link in the chat for you to ask me questions  anonymously we'll get to those at the end then i'm   gonna well first i'm gonna show you a video right  so give me one second and let me switch that over anonymous box questions a sixth grade boys  group asked their sex education teacher   miss ebony if you don't have a  condom can you use a plastic bag no plastic bags won't protect you  from stds or prevent pregnancy   miss ebony can a girl get pregnant  if i put my pita in her ear what no that was an episode from family guy  this is real life and in this class   we will only use medically correct  terms what's another word for balls   testicles miss ebony why do girls scream  when they have sex and what if the bed breaks men and women make noises as a pledgeable  response and in most cases this is normal   and okay and if the bed is not sturdy it could  break but hopefully no one gets hurt i am trained to answer these questions but sometimes i want to  say if there's a girl who will allow you to use   a plastic bag inside her this is not the girl  for you ejaculating into someone anyone's ear it's gross and confusing because why would you  want to do that you could say nuts tea bags sack   beans boys friends but who the hell is peter and  not all women scream because not all of us need   to the question you should be more concerned with  is how will i know she's faking it or not but none   of the above have to do with the bed breaking but  then there are questions put into the box as true   as tim's name admits it's a star with print as  small as a signature of a gnat evenly folded to   show me how careful i have to be in answering his  questions why does liking the color pink make me   gay and if i am is it bad and i immediately  wanted to show him how to become camouflage   how to give up his shadow and become a closet  and say they have picket signs and slanderous   tongue shaped like swords of malice that we all  have a certain prejudiced bully inside us you boy   must not believe in being outcasted in blue blue  is more fitting for the sinking emotions you   might feel or show a lifespan of your bruises that  haven't quite healed yet or the color of your iris   before a piece of you turned gray tim with all 206  bones 17 of them reaching for me in his eyes looks   at me the way he does hope and the ability to love  outside of himself is waiting for an answer so i   say you could be a pink spider-man if you want  to a bow tie a cupcake with pink insides as long   as your heartbeat preference and colors have to  do with emotions so you should do what feels good   you got to be willing to be brave enough to  be the only one who knows you're afraid bad   is hiding inside yourself bad is someone  judging what they don't understand in which   direction your heart goes when love is supposed  to be a good thing that you shouldn't have to   control use a cookie cutter to recreate that  love can be a person place or thing in any   emotion you wrap around that special person  that makes your heart explode when they walk   into a room there is no skull and crossbones  over your heart you are a good thing somebody   be dying to get next to and there's no shame  in that we all right we're still feeling good all right so what are we  thinking about that any thoughts   any concerns so tell people  just be concerned i'm concerned   with that whatever it is right um so maybe some  of you saw there is a form that is in the chat you're welcome to definitely use that okay so  uh and we can get to that later but i want to   change gears just a little bit let's see what  are some pickup lines that you all have um   used or heard that people have used right like  what are some pickup lines that you've heard of   that some people try to get somebody's  attention in a particular way what we got   pick up lines some of you are like what i don't  use pickup lines i don't need pickup lines people   just come to me oh my gosh okay oh hey shoddy  okay yes i used to get that all the time and   i'll be like i can low key don't like that people  call me short no no friends it makes me feel away   let's see uh pick up line i've used okay  all right let's go i got two controllers   wanna be player two okay that's for  you that's look that's for you gamer   heads out there i like that okay  what else we got what else we got the hey shorty and the in the controller game that's so funny i never actually heard of that one  i might need to let my nephew know because i don't   play video games but i mainly let my nephew know  and then he can well i don't know mind if he's too   cool for school so he might not but i want to take  that one well i was flirting with someone one time   just this one time or whatever and i was like  giving them everything i was you know like it   was really cute in my opinion and then they were  like wait are you flirting with me and i was like   yes i um i am flirting with you what you mean like  see and then i was like you know what they don't   respect my efforts that's what it is and i don't  know how many writers in the room obviously i'm   not going to ask you to read anything but i'm  curious how many writers we have in the room   but you know how it is like  when you experience something   and you go home and you write about the  thing it is that you experienced right   and so because i felt like my pickup lines  was so good i ended up turning them into like   a poem and it's called how to properly flirt with  somebody you attracted to and want to be your boo so you see them like on the yard or across  the zuma verse i don't know and be like ah   get back over here with my  heart you see it's like ah you smell good what is that forever like that's  actually my one though like that's the that's   that's my go-to unless unless they don't smell  weird that don't smell good and it's weird um   you make me want to eat my words and spit out my  spine i'd abandon all my awful for you baby can   i call you baby no okay um you got me blushing  in rainbows you got me want to share the other   half of my sandwich if i was a spider i'd web  for you have a million your babies and then eat   you okay if i were a caterpillar i chewed through  everything just to become a butterfly in your   stomach a chrysalis i break through all this  hard for you i was an actress once a lion tamer   a magician i stopped planning my escape for you  stop batting all the love start believing that   love isn't me if i'm more than you you make me  want to figure out how much wood with a woodchuck   chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood when i'm  with you i know the things that hurt don't have   to a survivor women know how to build walls and  make our bodies a fort know how to be survivors of   war expectoration a constant state of revolution  won't you rise with me won't you hip-hop and jazz   me won't you be like totally punk rock and scream  i love you with me when i'm with you my pulse is   a hummingbird my body a parachute reminding me  that we were not meant to live alone nor is my   heart remote from saving can we go through seasons  together so what if november comes i still won't   leave or change so what if my milkshake brings  all the boys to the yard any any police fans   out there is like i could teach you but i have  to charge um you make my heart in adobe home   even when they try to earthquake us loose i'll  be mud brick and hold strong you in a dream i'm   having a hundred years from now you keep saying  you'll be you and allow me to call you mine yo   i squeeze your pimples and shave your back for  you son because that's love okay and some of   y'all like no sis he went too far that's gross  and it might be why you by yourself right now   because you're selfish um you remind  me there are easier ways to do things   i just never took them i forget to be  afraid when i'm with you so i'm saying like   can we be an item or a pair and  like share space together and stuff   no okay um people always like why does it end  like that because i was giving this person   everything it was like are you flirting with me  plus anything more for me would have been like harassment you know what i'm saying and you  want your yeses you you don't want the kind   of yes i'm just saying yes you can get out  my face you want like the real yeses but   okay so let's see um can i holler at you i'd  be like no you can't don't holler at me i   don't respond well to yelling okay i used to ask  people if they um want to go to walmart with me okay all right that's different that is  different that's the conversation started   right there i feel like i don't know um i thought  i was on earth but you make me think i'm in heaven well then okay okay well let's not let's not  stay here let's go to heaven chad um can i buy   you a drink now nikki you know that's a song chad  can i buy a drink um you don't want me i'm too   high maintenance well wait a minute okay this is  the response okay with this with this clap back   excuse me i think you dropped something my number  oh y'all are really cute since i'm like y'all   y'all ready for valentine's day i literally said  that if i can't get a massage or a um foot rub   some port wine or let's see chocolate covered  strawberries then ain't no valentine's day b ain't   no valentine's day it don't exist anywho let's  get a little bit more personal right what are some   fears that you all have or that you've heard that  people have like what are some things that you're   afraid of anybody want to share i know that's like  a really vulnerable question right things that you   are afraid of or fearful of or that you heard that  people are afraid of or fearful of what we got some people are like yo i'm not scared or nothing  i'm a gangster i don't get scared scared you're   scared of me oh okay go off then oh okay honestly  i'm afraid of death yo out the gate thank you so   much reena here's the thing um here's what i think  about death or what i remember about death is that   my grandmother when she passed away um she wanted  to die in her own home because she was like   whatever i've lived here and y'all gonna come and  watch me um uh transition and so she's in the bed   we're all gathered around and then like you  know you it's something about watching um a   person transition and the whole family  dismantled right we all just sunk down   and we're crying we're upset and i'm the quietest  person in my family by the way which is crazy   right but i said hey y'all maybe we should just  all die together that way we don't gotta hurt like   this and my family thought it was like the most  morbid thing i could say and i was like i'm trying   to help us out i feel like if we all die together  like we don't got to deal with this no more but   the the thing that i did learn is that death is  so selfish it brings out the selfish part of us   like we don't want to lose someone because  we don't want them not a part of our lives   but who are we to tell like a higher being  that some it's not their time to transition   but i understand like death is is a big  deal right um being the same parents my word   this is a this is a poem child i'm waiting on that  poem to get written that's that's good yeah like   fortunately though you're aware it sounds like  it's you're aware of the things that you want   to do differently than what your parents did my  mother you're you're afraid of your mother me too   me too friend my mama is four nine and i feel like  every every time i'm around her i just never know   you know what i mean sometimes i'm like  does she know i'm a i'm a grown up now   um i have a lot of dental anxiety i hate  going to the dentist josiah that is super real   um i i share that sentiment with you like nothing  ever goes bad but i'm just like i don't know   um i saw a tweet the other day where somebody was  just like um going to the dentist should be free   because i didn't ask for teeth i was like i kind  of i kind of messed with that a little bit i like   that idea um being judged by people that never met  me assuming they know me oh my goodness so true   yo that is so true thank you for sharing that um  you know oftentimes we pass judgment on people   based on something that we're lacking  or that we're jealous or envious of   um and so another part of like judgment brings  about fear right and oftentimes i think that   fear is illogical like it doesn't necessarily  always have a reason um it could be something   that we created in our heads it could be something  from our own trauma or our background or wait   things that we've been told about other people  or things right um but being judged yo it's like   judging someone is almost as if you're judging  yourself i'm gonna do this poem called fear and   um i always like to ask people about their fears  because it makes me really nervous to do this poem   and so then like even if you didn't share one  of your fears you're probably thinking about it   and now we in the same vein we in the same  community thanks welcome friends come on   over here come on over here um so what  i'm gonna do is i'm do this point fear   and then i'm gonna check to see what questions we  have um from that link and form that you all gave   right and see if i can answer some of those really  quickly come back and try to do a poem and then go   into the q a i'm stalling because like the point  of fear makes me anxious yeah let's try it out i'm asked to write about the birth of my demons  to tell how fear is born the way it came into   existence i struggle myself to ink strike through  words crumble 100 pages with fear written all over   them leaving me waist deep in torture flood  my body with every story that has ever tried   to consume me fear must have been born like this  and tremble and strange sounds must be a belly's   echo with muffled screams slung all around  must be an artist must be an international   student relearning everything that couldn't  make its way across an ocean must be an island   must be lonely growing lusciously must have  grown fangs and thorns and vines must have   wrapped itself in everything hard and hurt must  have strangled love until its eyes popped out fear   must be blind and touching everything must  have eight arms and three heads must be a   monster mating with itself multiple times until it  became a forest a continent a whole person a place   to live fear must have a stubborn heart must  thump stress speak creep must hunt your dreams   your goals your happiness fear be a bottom feeder  must scrape every last bit of hope from your feet   must keep you stuck and graduated hater yeah fear  must be a cowboy roping hanging must be a gangsta   machine gun must be a police officer with an empty  weapon after emptiness weapon inside the soul of   a black body it must be a black mother's home with  all these unarmed black bodies walking around fear   must be a [ __ ] everybody want to be a [ __ ] but  don't nobody want to be a [ __ ] shots fired yeah   shots fired yeah fear must be bombing for beauty  and exotic the only person of color in the whole   room must be the revolution untelevised must be a  man calling out another man when misogyny forces   its way into its mouth fear must be coming out  but still having to pretend to be someone else   must be a body in transition must be  permission for two women to kiss in   public for two men to hold hands fear must  be a law must be in place to save the human   race quote the universe wrote fiction in us and  it's called fear and i'm not saying i'm ashamed   i don't even want to be brave i just don't want  to be afraid of being who i am but fear is the   part of me i know the most therefore i think i'm  free but am i really fears will be loving sex and   paying our tithes to yes fear is a god a religion  who we pray to and believe in fear mustn't be   uttered admitted acclaimed to have faith in fear  must just be who fear be and how fear came about   all right everybody okay we're still  feeling good we got through it yeah   um it might be a good time to i need it  i'm going to take like a deep breath in exhale out all right let's check the i was about to call it the doodle dad does  anybody else these words like that when they   can't think of what they're saying the doodle dad  i'm about to look at the doodle date real quick um   while i'm doing that you know there were  some sponsors that helped out for this event   um and that is can uh campus activities board  let's see we got it's on us chapter i think   nikki isn't here representing and then uh sigma  kappa sorority okay hello friends thank you so   much and thank you for all you do questions that  we have is it wrong to be mad at my friends who   tell me you're not fat you're beautiful i don't  feel great about myself and i don't feel beautiful   but i never tell them i'm ugly okay i got i get  what you i get what you're saying i think um   i don't want to tell you that it's wrong to be mad  i don't i don't get to control your feelings and   emotions i want to maybe give you some different  ways to think about it that sometimes especially   when it comes to our appearance um if someone  tells us that they don't like the way they look   or they have an issue or problem with something  on them then our natural response to our friends   or people that we care about usually is no you're  beautiful you're great you're granted to just like   overload you with things to help you feel better  about yourself not saying that you're you know not   fat that's what you feel also if you are fat  there's nothing wrong with that there's like   hella beautiful women that are you know plus size  and are amazing right so maybe just shift your   thinking into thinking that they are trying to  figure out a way to boost you up and make you feel   good about yourself right you could always give  them things that you want to respond to though   like you could be like hey i want you to say this  instead of this whatever that is or hey that makes   me uncomfortable when you um respond in that way  and these are some ways that might be helpful   right i also want to encourage you for every  one negative thing you say about yourself you   got to come up with three positives for  every one negative thing you say about   yourself you got to come up with three positives  yourself can hit yourself and this is your home   right so you know talk to me nice that's  me responding as your body as a black woman   have you faced any struggles or issues as a  spoken word artist and sexual health advocate   i'm sorry i grinned because i don't think that  there is a day in my life as a black woman in   america that i have not been challenged second  guessed used as the scapegoat um savior you   know i gotta be at all so um struggles and  issues definitely definitely definitely um   it's let's see how i can put this um in the sexual  health advocate world i think that a lot of the   pushback that i experience because sexual health  is not just about actually having sex or the   plumbing of you know doing it or whatever people  call it right that's where some people's minds go   to it's also about when we're talking about how  we're raised or our values and morals or um how   to respect boundaries and friendships and you know  like what the consequences of different things and   i generally find i don't know this is because i'm  a black woman but i when i'm speaking to my family   about different ways that they could um address  their kids or um teach their kids things of you   know empowerment and and boundaries and consent  they're like oh well you're not a parent so you   don't understand and i'd be like well you are  a parent and i'm watching you mess it up okay   okay so you know there's there's that that i do  deal with um but just you know in the spoken word   world or community i think um there's this idea that there's this idea that i have to protect  everyone and by everyone it means everyone in   the in the poetry community needs my  protection of some sort or that i have   taken on that role that i need to protect them and  that's a struggle for me because sometimes people   um i have to treat them accordingly right so  they might think oh well she's angry or she's   mean and i'm like nah i'm just treating  you how you supposed to be treated cause   how you acting oh okay and so people don't really  too much like that i also was just told like   three weeks ago that i'm bougie that the poetry  community thinks i'm bougie now let me tell you   what that what that's about for me they're saying  oh ebony is bougie like she likes she likes nice   things you know all of this stuff but if you look  up the definition of bougie it's to insinuate that   i think that i'm better or more than what i am  and that's what got me right i'm like really   so y'all think i'm better than what i am based on  what of because what you're not so those are just   some things that i have come across um i stand  firm and how to overcome it is that i i was who   i was when i got here and i stayed consistent so  whatever it is that people think about me is not   really my business all i got to do is continue to  show up and be consistent so let's see what we got   uh oh we got some more in here okay poetry  can be healing be and healing experience   for many what advice would you give to someone  interested in writing poetry and performing it   um first of all every poem that you write you  don't have to perform you don't have to perform   any of your work or share it with anyone but um  you can look at a performance as more than just   like what we're doing now what you're watching  me do you can look at it as sharing your work   with your friends or people that you trust um  or you can show up to a poetry zoom and read   your poem and not care about what people think  because you don't know these people you're like   i might not see them ever again in life right  but i think maybe trying to write from where you   where you are and being honest in your poetry  and not trying to like over impress or write or   sound like someone else or take someone  else's story to make it your own to be   you know bigger than what it is or to get more  views or likes is some advice that i would give   i would also say read more than you write a lot  of a lot of poets and get caught up in you know   this whole idea that they have  to like write every single day   and sometimes you just need the reload and  and to get information that's so that you   can write you know what i mean so read watch  documentaries pay attention to everything right   um let's see i grew up in a church that taught  puberty culture how can i help people understand   they aren't damaged goods oh that's interesting  you know um church and religion is a very um   a touch-and-go subject right and some people  might not be open and welcome to that change or   to that experience right so i would what i've  done is i might find scriptures right um that   have been used against a person and flip it and  say what if it means this right um or shouldn't   you see it like that because god is love so i  mean that's just what that has to be right so i   i would just keep encouraging them and um speaking  into their into their goodness right um and their   existence who they were made from and what they  have to offer let's see generic question but   what do you say to those who are in college that  don't know what career they want um finish with   something sugarfoot finish with something that's  what i'll tell you just be in college finish with   some i don't i don't know if they have like a  generalist degree out there or something that   you're that's closest to what you are interested  in think of your hobby think of um things that   you know that you're good at or that people have  told you that you're good at and try some courses   out right i had to do it that's what i had to  do and then i ended up finishing again like i   said with english and communication studies i'm  using my degree however nothing in my degree   really helped me um be able to be a full-time  artist if i'm just keeping it a band right   so you don't have to have it all figured out  sugar i know they tell you that you should but   it's actually quite impossible and stunts your  growth if you think you know everything already   uh let's see what's your favorite moment working  as a sexual health advocate my favorite moment   um one of my students javier came to school  with a uh with a dildo and we don't have a   show-and-tell portion in my class that's what  i want y'all to understand he just came here   and he was like hey miss miss ebony um my mom  says this is a toy but what kind of toy is it   y'all i was like oh my gosh i don't even know how  to respond to this um i was i was a bit in shock   i was shocked um because not only did i have to  be like hey well it's a you know a sexual toy   that people use when they're being intimate um or  if they like want to have a moment with themselves   but also you got to respect people's property you  can't just be taking people's stuff out of the   house out of their bedroom and so i  literally had to call this kid's mom   god y'all like oh my god you gotta call his mom  and tell her that like so thankfully she didn't   answer the phone and all i said was i left her a  message i was like hey javier about to do those   classes being in the front office come pick it up  at the end of the day that was it and i hung up it was too much but it just so happens to be um  one of my favorite moments i don't always reach   an orgasm when having sex with my partner  which is very normal a lot of people don't   okay um is it wrong to fake orgasm in my dating  relationship uh i think i think fake orgasms are doing a disservice to yourself because if you  ain't there you ain't there that ain't your   fault right so i think maybe you all can explore  what will help you reach an orgasm and y'all could   do that together or you can show them how you  orgasm on your own and then be like now do this   right um and you can talk during sex there's all  different things that you can do you don't have to   uh fake an orgasm because that means that  you're just trying to feed their ego and   that's not fair to you okay so um i would say i  don't recommend faking orgasms because you know   i'm a real [ __ ] but also you know people do what  they want to do um and if that's what makes you   and your partner happy cool however i have heard  that um there are some men who are like devastated   that they've been with their partner for like  three years and their partner finally gets the   guts to say like hey you've never actually made me  orgasm i was just faking it and then i got a whole   nother world of problems right so that's all the  questions that i have in here um i'm just gonna   double check one more again just to make sure oh  oh oh and just right when i said that look at it all right oh is it strange not to  have an orgasm without foreplay   no it's not strange that's how your body  responds to foreplay and that's what your   body feels like it needs right or that's how your  body gets excited and and interested and revved   up you know what i mean so i don't think that is  strange no i i think it would be strange if like   your partner had an issue with it or was mad about  it or you know made you feel bad right but um do   i think it's strange that your body is like hey i  would like to be intimate and close in these ways   before we have an action that happens in  this way nah not strange at all friend   so um i'm an artist which also means i'm a creator  since i create things a storyteller since i have   stories to tell a visionary i write about where  i've been these poems act as self-help i'm a   healer not always for myself but one time a kid  told me he almost killed himself but he heard one   of my poems and decided to keep living and from  that day forward i was like today is a good day   to keep someone alive people ask me how i did  it or how they should do it and i'm not sure if   they're asking me about the kid or themselves what  i've come to learn is can't nobody tell what i'm   not doing well but me i get to travel across the  country and do poems for a living like that's my   job and out of 50 states i performed in 47 of them  i read an article that said only only uh 15 20   of people in the u.s are doing what they love or  whatever statistic it was and i was like my god   and damn nothing in me i'm doing exactly what  i've always wanted to do so i must be blessed   must be exemplifying all this miracle i am  stressed and winning i look at it update my   curriculum vantay daily and i'll be like damn  i'm surprised i know how to say that word and   ain't nobody wish nothing bad on me but me like  everything i ever wanted i manifested at the   end of each manifestation i asked the universe  to make me undeniably enough and people be mad   happy when i show up one time i performed for 200  000 people and i didn't throw up it was so cool   and exhausting did you know i could touch what  feels like a million people's energy and help them   feel seen but go back to my hotel room feeling  so fulfilled yet lonely yeah it's amazing another   time i thought i was gonna be with this guy that  i had i thought i was gonna marry this guy that   i've been with for like six years out of my life  but he said he hated my lifestyle even though this   is my life's work because my work means i'm never  home but every time i came back he was gone as an   emotionally unavailable mentally abusive i have  extreme ptsd from that unhealthy relationship   but someone asked me to do that one poem about  that one time where i made him mine may you find   a lover that helps you love yourself may you  find a lover that doesn't require you to give   more to them than you have to give to yourself did  i mention i paid off my student loans with poetry   can't nobody tell me i'm not the [ __ ]  but me i get so sad sometimes i think i'm   losing my mind and i must be since i enrolled  in graduate school this past may i guess i re   i return to my oppressor i am whoever i think  i am but i wish being a good person paid more   i heard i heard it's the wounds people can't  see that hurt the most but i've seen sunsets   that look like somewhere tomorrow my heart is  on fire so i'm chasing the day at night i don't   sleep i grind i've been in my prime like nine  times i got so much love i give and keep giving   i have so much advice that are really opinions  and maybe they're just hard facts i haven't   hardly learned yet did you know that people ask  me how i'm doing by also commenting on my weight   and here i am some foolish somebody that didn't  hate the way they look today but you right girl   must be the depression but i'm the kind of giant  that's been through what i've been through and you   can still depend on i gave all that i had and  you ain't never known a black woman who ain't   did that my friends calling me when they're down  and out are just in need and what good is a god   that can't speak life into somebody check on your  strong friends check on your strong friends check   on your strong friends don't believe us i promise  we're pretending have you ever have you ever tried   to tell someone you're not okay and they're  like you're good and you're like but i'm not   and they're like you got this you like but i don't  and they're like keep going and you're like okay you're right i could do this with my eyes closed  i get so overwhelmed that one time i was drowning   and screaming but everybody thought i was swimming  and smiling i died in that dream and then i woke   up on an airplane flying to a different  country to do poetry and i thought my god   and damn nothing in me i'm i'm so blessed i'm  so blessed i'm so blessed that my life is crazy   my heart is racing i'm probably dehydrated  you know i'm traveling there's awful things   to the body but the one thing i could tell you  about being successful is that you have to love   what you're doing can't nobody steal my  joy not even myself i heard or someone said if your path is more difficult  is because your calling is higher   so i say i'll be hero and legend nobody built  like me i design myself but every time i climb my   community get co-signed dfinity defined she is to  the most high i just pray i leave something good   behind my name is ebony stewart i  think we're gonna bring nicki green   on and see if she would go  ahead and facilitate the q a

2021-02-12 22:26

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