The Grand Tour - Season 1 Episode 04: Enviro-mental #subtitlescomingsoon

The Grand Tour - Season 1 Episode 04: Enviro-mental #subtitlescomingsoon

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Thank. You so much thank you thank you thank you and welcome to the Grand Tour which. Once. Again is it with me. There. Is actually, a very good reason for that it's because these, two last week blew. Up my house and I literally, have nowhere else to go. Plus. Plus James May lost the tent bags yes. He. Didn't do that anyway, and we. Were reminiscing. As we've been here, all week and we, worked out that Yorkshire. Is the only place on earth where all three, of us have. Had a car crash. What. Was yours. Triumph, 2500. Rolled over yeah Hammond my, first car and, my second car my. Mum's car, my. Dad's car my third and fourth cars my first four motorcycles. The, Radio York radio van the radio Leeds, radio. Car and the jet-powered dragster. Oh yes. And. And. What about you I tell. You know 1977. When. The driving, examiner said to me congratulations, mr., Clarkson you passed what, I heard, was, congratulations. Mr. Clarkson you are the best, driver I've ever seen. 36. Hours later and that's all it was 36. Hours I've been on the road stuff, my mother's a healthy wheels came off killed the sheep. So. If you're the farmer sorry we're at. Anyway, I'm glad we're still in Yorkshire because last, week we said there was no real motor in connection, with the, counting turns out that's. Not true as, I was reading TripAdvisor, last, night they have TripAdvisor, is a website for the mealy-mouthed, and the bitter. It's. Useless apart, from anything else because you. Have to know someone before, their, opinion, is is relevant I mean only no Hammond, okay so he tells me a restaurants, great I know I, don't want to go there. Absolutely. Right actually because I mean that bloke in the Hat over there I don't care how many stars he gives Oxfam Whitby I'm not. Exactly. Anyway. I. Went. On TripAdvisor, okay and there was a review of Whitby. And. It. Said and I'm quoting here what, aspect, of Whitby is the large number, of local champs. Who. Drive, around the town in a circuit, in there noise enhanced. Cars, you. Already I don't like this person they. Accelerated. Down the narrow streets, and then slowed their engines, down quickly as they approached a junction causing. Explosive. Sounding, backfiring. He. Sounds like a right no because he's a right knob is that leaving a message on TripAdvisor. Anyway. The police the. Police the local police here they've, decided they've had enough of people how they put it driving. Away in a manner that causes their, wheels to spin and, screech, okay. So they decided to have a clamp down but and this is the quote I love the, operation, was curtailed, due, to poor weather. Well. They didn't go out because it was raining. Law, enforcement. In Whitby is like cricket, everybody, just goes inside, if it starts to drizzle so this is this is the Whitby town police we're talking about yeah the WT, PD yeah. It's. NYPD. That. Would be a brilliant police, drama right constable. How. About about, the, Chief Constable always chilled my ass the mayor's chilled is no ask now with chill your ass. We've. Got these lads to do it well Chavez they're doing like wheel screeches, and. You've got 48, hours to solve it or I'll have your badge in the truncheon. Anyway. On our, car show tonight.

A. Tree. Falls over, a. Hedgehog. Mix and noise and. A. Dog eat some meat. But. We begin with Porsche. They offer an, immense, an immensely complicated, range, of cars all under. The 911. Banner now Porsche, enthusiasts, by which I mean these, two imbeciles say that they're all slightly. Different, completely. Different, no slightly, different and that the best of the bunch is something called the gt3. RS. So, only, thought, I'd take it to our track to, see what it was like and, let's, just hope that for once in your life you haven't behaved, like a child you. Mean just. Said it's no good because I've got one. Hammond. I am. A professional, motoring. Journalist, and coming up. Amongst. Other things coming. Up now is my professional. Review. This. Is the car in question. No. Wait sorry, I know. It's. Easy to be confused. This. Is it. The. Hottest, hardest. Tightest. 911. Of them all. And. The, most exotic. It. Has the, fattest, back tires I've, ever seen on a road car it has scaffolding. In the back for stiffness, carbon-fiber. Body panels, for, lightness, the roof is, made from magnesium so. If you turn it over and the response there'll, be a blinding. Flash of light and then, you'll have a convertible. Floored. In some dark and all. The disgusting way but, I will grudgingly, admit that, even the basic, cooking models, are. Extremely. Lovely to drive there they're. Just very good, sports, cars but. What, about this one well. Let's. Find out. Straight. Away I can tell you the engine is. Incredible. There's. No turbo charging, it's just a four. Liter flat, six but. Boy. Territory. But, the best thing is the, way it goes around corners, because. It's got, four-wheel. Steering, because the engine, is sitting right, over the rear axle the, grip, is. Just astonishing. Engaged. All the hero bugs, down here turned, all be. Electronic. Driver. Aids off, and let's see if I, can unstick it in. The air far too fast into Swindon. Swings. Swings. That's something completely, different but anyway. I thought. When I read the spec sheet on the RS that portrait, tried to make a supercar. Are illegal for Ferrari and McLaren, and, Lamborghini, but they haven't, it's still, a sports car it's, still Chuck abort a death, oh. It's. Very very, good. Annoyingly. But. Is. It as good as this the. BMW. M4. GTS. Like. The Porsche, it's made from exotic, lightweight. Materials. And. Fitted. With scaffolding instead. Of back seats and enormous. Tyres. It. Looks good but. There are some problems.

When. You were wrong but a small speed hump in the Porsche you raised its nose electrically. And all is well. But. When you arrive at the same hump in the BMW. You. Will need a team, of men to fold away the spoiler, and adjust. The ride height this. Takes several, hours. There are some other issues as well. To, give owners a sense, they're driving, a racing car, all, of, the storage bins have been removed there's no cubby hole here no, door pockets, I mean there's nowhere to put anything, and. I think that on a day to day basis. That would drive you a bit mad. Which. Is extremely, bumpy, and the, Droon from the tires which. Is horrendous. After. 10 minutes on a motorway you will have a headache and how. Many headache pills with you because, there was nowhere to put them oh. Now. At this point I would normally use the word however and start, talking, about the cars good points. However. I. Can't. Of bickers. I'm. Struggling, to find any. The. Engine, for example has water injection, which sounds, cool or, but. It means that every third time you fill the car with fuel, you have to fill a water tank in the boot. I'm. Not sure. This. Is very. High-tech. And. Then there's the steering which in comfort, mode is horrid and in sport setting. Good. It's. Like holding on to something from the wrong, Jeremy, range and the, seats aren't bad but other than that. Nope. A point, that becomes even, more obvious, when he go into battle against, the poor sir. We, both have around, 500, horsepower. Both. Have a top speed of around. 190, but the. Porsche is a lot lighter. Probably. Because he doesn't have a tank full of water in the booth. We. Go into Swindon. Oh Springs. Campus. Grafts shop Oh Evan. That's. Nasty. This. Is not a car that responds. Well to my, rather. Brutal, driving, style. Lemis. Doesn't. Really respond. Very well to delicacy. Oliva. This. Competition. Here now between these G cars is. Like a boxing, match between an. Actual, boxer, and someone, thinks. They're a boxer, because they're wearing satin shorts. How, did BMW. Get this thing. Switch, it's unpredictable. And. In the rain it's, somewhere, between. Spiteful. And undriveable. But. That said this. Has to be the winner of this test because, Richard. Hammond. Has. Got one of those. That. Was a professional review. Points. But, you were doing so, well and then you ruined, it at the end what do mean brewing this by saying you'd have a worse car because I haven't got that, Porsche. Wounded. Me wounded. It did wound me because you know it's got so much grip, that, you sort of forced into the seat of the seats got this stitching, on it which digs a hole in, the above sever the picture of what it did look at this that's my back, I'm.

Amazed, You weren't hospitalized. With that. Never. Done. Or. Maybe you're a freak and it's sitting the wrong place it's, not just, the fact it was you also, the. Porsche is more expensive, than the bill don't see but I'd rather spend a hundred and thirty-one thousand pounds on the Porsche than a hundred and twenty thousand on a BMW that's, not very good on the road not, very good on a track and no, good at all in the rain you know that's fair enough well hold on what, I've got to the bottom of the problem with the BMW right, here in the blurb developed. On the Nurburgring. Yeah. And actually speaking, of tracks it's now time to hand, the m4, over, to, a man who thinks that sparkling, water is basically communist, yep, time, to give it to, the American. From. The exhaust on the up chips is he a taxi, isn't straight. British. Motor Works soon. That's, a new okay. Continuing, up the isn't. They. Say it's got more power. Little. What my damn toothbrush. Right. To, the end of, the isn't, now and into your name here, hard on the brakes keeping, it all in check and surely, L appreciate the turbos, punching, him out of the corner turbos. On an engine is God's. Way of telling you ain't got enough silver. Mistake. Right back up the isn't really, winding up that straight-6 must have met from the outside it sounds, good, and. Already he's turning in part round, the unexploded, bomb into the narrowness, of old lady's, house. Back. On the power for the bumpy bit towards substation. Idiotic, splitter in peril over the rug hall now, working. The ceramic, brakes hard for the tight left tickle. Of power. Left. Again into field of sheep oh. Let's. Bring up the let's, bring up the leaderboard if we can now there we are look we've already had, the 911, gt3rs, round, and you're not going to show the lap he's, interested, in watching an American being sawn in half by, a glorified, beetle it, did, 124. Right so now let's see what the m4 did let's put the time up there. It is Oh. Two. Seconds. Slower and that's a short that's unbelievable that's, not good is it no time it's only a second faster than a Porsche seven, one eight I don't know I mean, I admire BMW. For trying with that car I really, do but. My god they made a hash of it in fact I'm trying to think of a metaphor for. Someone who's really tried, their hardest with, something, and. It hasn't worked. Nope. Nothing's coming to mind. At. All so, let's. Let's, move it on it's time for us to make a gentle, left into, conversation. Street. Okay. Right I want to begin with the new, Ford GT got, a picture of it here now this is well. You remember the last that, the last GT they did that was just an arm ours really to the the, old gt40. This, one they say is actually a racing car on the road it's got twin. Turbo three and a half liter v6, seven-speed. Flappy paddle, box more than 600. Horsepower the problem, is though I can't. Think of any racing. Car that works on the road really. Ever no, they don't they don't I mean the missin GTR fabulous. Fabulous car, track, edition, rubbish. Undriveable. You, know you it's a very good point because a racing. Car on the road is a bit like trying to play tennis with that cricket bat, yeah, it's two totally, different disciplines, the job is that looks, so good a doof imma sold go. You. Won you bought the last GT, didn't you yes. And. Keep reminding, me yes I did did that go well. No. It didn't the problem was the insurance company said they had to have a burglar, alarm which, blew usually. When my daughter was doing the school play ruined, it and it had to have a tracker and there is nothing on God's earth more annoying, than a tracker but I've got a tracker doesn't bother me in the slightest, move this because you'll have a little special place on the hall table the pencil outline, I've. Got my keys I must, remember to take my checkered coz you're organising are not it won't be a track it won't be a keys won't be a little penknife it, won't for some change in case you need yeah with the tempies, and. Just. Has a little print you just. Track. Basically, for the track. Because. What's it made of Oh, leather US leather, patch, did. You make it yourself. It. Came with the car. So. Ferrari, sold its you was it six hundred pounds I bet it was just, came with the car it, would don't think Ferrari give it away the stripes on your Ferrari okay - stripes bit like on that board there are two stripes how much did you pay for those stripes oh that there are lots there were 6,000, pounds.

Loose. Listen, this is why I Drive a Golf GTI okay, because you don't need an alarm you don't need a track and it's find insurance groups lower down than the previous Golf GTI level Wow. It is. Because. You can't crash it bet I could. Anyway. Have. You two seen those, new pedestrian. Traffic lights in Trafalgar, Square which if you're watching in America is in London which is in Britain these, are they yes, these are the ones that have got the two the two blokes on them isn't, it James. Don't be sexist. No. Because what have you a lesbian. Put, two women on well. Then what if he's straight a man. And a woman only. This big you can't have a man in a man and a man a woman and a man who isn't sure and a woman and a woman what if what, if you just want to cross the road. What. It's, like being in the 70s, with you two crossing, the road is now an opportunity for, you, to express your sexuality yeah. Is that's why they've come up with these traffic, lights in London. They're. Real yeah they are for real what's the what's that one on the right then hello. Transgender. Hang, on, only. Transgender. Traffic lights what do you know that. Only. Only, transgender. People can cross when that's green know, when. It goes red does that mean it's not okay to be transgender, I. Don't. Know what, it goes red doesn't know where they're gonna say it's not up no I don't know and what does any of this got to do with crossing, the road that's all you want to do is nothing to do with expressing, your sexuality it's. The wrong time I want to cross the road all I want to do at that point is work out how to go to the other side and. By that I don't mean. I mean. Of. The road. Maybe. You're right it is right. Now can I talk about Alf Ramone know what, because we have to introduce our next, film now as we know in recent years the world's car makers have made great strides to. Make more fuel efficient and environmentally, friendly, car engines, but, very little has been done to make more environmentally. Friendly car, bodies, and interiors. Yeah by and large they are still made of steel and plastic, and that consumes, a huge amount of energy so we had an idea are there more sustainable. Materials, that could be used instead well, to find out each of us bought a Land Rover Discovery we.

Then Removed its metal, body and replaced, it, with whatever we thought was. The best solution for. The future of the planet. The. Meeting point was in Wales and I was the first to arrive in, a car made from, mud. But. Sadly before I have the chance to tell you anything about it Hammond. Arrived. Oh. Yeah. Let. Me talk you through this what. I've done I built, a frame, and of Hazel through which I have weaved English. Flowers, and shrubs it's basically a hedgerow but, it still it is growing because I've planted them so, it's got compost and soil to provide the nutrients, required to let my car flourish. And bloom, you don't you don't wash this car you water it it's, alive, it's brilliant isn't it clematis, now. It's clean up have. You become a hippie no, but, I can feel it starting inside me what, have you done well sadly, before I can tell him Jeremy, arrived in, a snuff movie. Gentlemen. I can see what's happened. You're. Speechless because, all, the words in your head, have. Been sucked, out by the magnetism. Of my genius. A car. Made from bone and, skin. Wot bones and. The more bones bones, are no good for this you can't use bones to make cars why not were your dog dies what, do you do now you barriers, don't turn her into a boot lid. See. The face says you, don't have to have the face I'm gonna face on it it's, just the bones. So. As granny gets older the family sit around planning a new little hatchback no. I hadn't, thought of people, dignity in it is there, have, you used ears for wing mirrors yes you're sick why would you not do that they're, designed for that no. They're not well. They are they're not reflective. They absorb, information and, pass it on to the creature look, at my windscreen what is that it's the. Digestive. System a part of the digestive system of, an cow what part of the justice system or stomach. Where. Further back yes are you staring the world through a cow's ring. It's. A little passage. So. Thin that it's, completely. Come. On it's, a lot better than what you two have done which is nothing, what's this made out of have, a guess is it mud it's mud it's, a mud car you got flat tires no they're not flat they're pumped up as high. As they will go without exploding, how much does it weigh quite, a lot how much yeah, loads how, much does it weigh James what units would you like turns five. This. Looks safe it's sustainable is that that is growing while, we've been having that conversation. This, is extended, a little bit it's just gross it's actually a living car everything's planted and put bulbs along here ready for spring daffodils, not safe though is it yes hazel very strong what's got strongest bone bone, is three times stronger than steel oh. Sorry. Text. Stroman. Having. Built your cars from nature you will now drive through, it to. The mile, hill where, you will take part in a green motorsport. Event what, green motorsport mean doesn't say a motorsport. Event that's presumably ecological. In some way okay. Before. Setting, off we consulted, a map to see where we were going, right. So that's the UK, we're. Here and, we've got to get to here. With. That sorted, we saddled, up and began our epic. 11, mile journey. That's. Ecological. Greenpeace. Are gonna be ringing him up at any moment. Tremendous. Smells. Of nature I'm. In nature, I'm made, of nature. It's. Not quick but gives, me more time to enjoy. God's creation. Of, which I'm very much apart. Surely. He has to admit the feed, there's. Not much car left. You. Out but it doesn't matter what. Look at it you think Oh James's curls fall apart I'm standing, in my spare parts department if all, of it can, be used to rebuild your car right, under there so it's as good as new sort. Of well, I'm sorry but we're, gonna set off and leave you behind, but hang on you can't leave me behind cuz everyone started you I was still in the field oh yes okay. Well we're gonna set off and go, to the pub it's. A very good idea are you well, you, find. Some mud I've. Lost my car oh it's there it's there. When. Bob the Builder out of the way Richard, noise settled, down to appreciate, the planet-saving, nature, of our revolutionary. Eco, cars. You may be. Amused. By my body work or perhaps, horrified. But. The fit is that. Making. Steel bodies, for cars, produces. A hundred, and twenty million tonnes of carbon dioxide every. Year, a hundred. And twenty million times. Car. Makers will, sort, out clean. Environmentally, friendly engines will, but, in the meantime I can't tell you the co2 produced, by this car's engine is being, absorbed, and used.

By. The bodywork. Plants. Breathe in carbon dioxide and, breathe out oxygen that's, what my car's body is doing, right now. Jumpers. Sunday, lunch, spare. Parts you don't, need a foundry, or a furnace, to build the body for this car you just need animals. To make love to one another that's. What this car is really, it's. A sex machine. While. Back at base, James was having a rethink. I've. Decided to abandon my, original, idea because, it was just too weak and too floppy, and instead I'm going to build a car out of bricks, and the basic materials for making the bricks are fresh, mud with. A bit of water in it some. Straw, to. Give it strength and some. Sheep poo you, then use, that to make the brick shape and then you fire those in a kiln and then you use the bricks to build the thing like a house except of course it will be roughly. The shape of a car. Back. On the road Hammond. Had called our eco convoy, to. It's, nicer Shh. Just. Water, there's. A bustle in my hedgerow. What. The alarm, now it's. Probably just a spring. Clean for, the. May Queen, as. It, turned out I'd. Picked up a passenger. He's. Moved in. The. Hedgehogs, have bones it could be old or he's now a member of my little community in here you're, not using him to make a duel mirror. Oh. He's. Got a mountain, isn't the word box and. It's got the biggest testes, I've ever seen. Eventually. Richard. And I arrived, at the park. Oh. Look. Clean. Break that'll never you're gonna need pins shut up your, car's giving, me hay fever I can't, see through my eyes said you crashed your car because mine's got flowers on it not because you built your windscreen out of a cow's balloon, not let's, not get bogged down with who caused the accident cuz it was you I am now gonna go and get some spare prop of course you are that'll be easy maybe there'll be a nice zoo in this tiny village no hospital, old folks home you could wait disa fine one of those old ladies one of those. Back, at the start points, the eco-warrior. Was ramping, up the pace. Watch. That go. Meanwhile. Back at the pub I was repairing my damaged, front end. Annoyingly. The pork, that I bought he's. Sort of triangular, and doesn't look right it doesn't really fit so I've got some of the beef, it. Will be great and I'm just. Shooing. Well, I'm. Warning, you, how. Would you like to be a petrol, filler cap. What. Do you think I actually. Think it looks rather stylish because, it immediately looks. Ecological. Recyclable. Sustainable. All those things you, get a single, skin brickwall. Builds. Up very neatly as you can see it's. Exactly the same as making something out of Lego if you have lots. Of like. Write. Clearly. James, was not going to get his car built that day so. Richard, and I decided to, spend the night at the pub. We're. Still in the same field where we started but he is yes we love pub but we have to go back to the start yes. It's. Not the best start no, well. How would do we know we haven't stones know what precisely sighs he might yet be a brilliant, star when the start start. It's. His slap-happy attitude. To making good attention to detail, very. Much anyway, now it is time for celebrity. Brain. Crash. Now. Last week. Last. Week as I'm sure you remember our, guest Simon, Pegg sadly, fell. Into the harbor and drowned. But. There's no danger of that happening this, week because our guest is actually starting, in the, harbor he, is one. Of Britain's top comedians. And a, jet ski enthusiasts. Ladies. And gentlemen, please welcome Jimmy. Carr. And. He's looking, good. When we can ask him when he gets it I'm gonna ask him actually about. That. Story he told me once when we're on holiday you you can't ask him about that on the air what they. Won't like it wife just off got well the internet. Still. Broadcast, you can't tell that story yeah. We'll. Hang on hang on when. The other winter peas come in very hot new what's this boy doing go suit everyone shot. Over. Done safely the bugs oh. My. God. As. You may have noticed the audience, they're applauding the tragic, death of.

One. Of Britain's best-loved, comedians, Jimmy Carr. Does. That mean he's not coming on then, well. James he's. Burst and is. Now basically Chum on the waters of the heart, so that's a no who's not coming on this, is a desert. We're. Getting a reputation people are gonna notice it's, okay then I leave just thought of something, else we can do to. Fill this on you. Yeah you know what it is you go outside and you okay, yes, yes, I'm afraid you do could you go that way go get it quickly quickly. Ladies. And gentlemen please try. Not to look at the hideous. Blood-stained. Water out of the window. See. The thing is the thing is that when immigrants, try to get, into the country, they, always come in the back of a container, lorry and I always think that is the world's, worst game, of hide and seek because. If you work for Homeland, Security that what's it called here border, falls border, force you have the doors to get well there you are so obviously the other day surely, there, must be, a better way of getting into Britain and I think, I worked. It out so James, could you yeah. Bring the car in yes, good man, all, right here he comes now is his usual top. Speed of 8 it, in what, is an Audi TT. Quattro. That's perfect, thank you so much James if you'd like to step out now. Richard. Hammond is in this. Car. And. I'm gonna give you the studio, audience one. Hour to find it I'm not an hour, well. I know a minute, I'll give you 60 seconds, to find him help yourselves, everybody see, if you can find it yeah and they'll fill the bonnet. Look. At me Astrid he's small but he's not that small, hoping to be. Inside. The state. Have. A lover look. If. You guys go down there you look underneath. 3. 2, 1. No you have all failed you'd be no good in immigration. Go. Back to where you were because ladies, and gentlemen, what, we are going to do now is reveal, to you where, Richard, Hammond was, concealed, in this, car James could, you give me a hand, certainly. Yeah. The. Amazing thing is it's. Not just a BT tees almost, any car has that much space if you want to do a spot of people smuggling yeah it's not that much space just to be clear. No. Because, I've just thought of something. Sousou-san, Jones can you pop the bumper backwards. Right. So pop that back on there now what we've got here only thing is a really, rather effective. Parking. Sensor, what I don't. Like. It you. Get back in will bring a car in so, that yes. So that you've got something to reverse of do I need, to drill some holes for your eyes you bloody don't. Well. Seriously how much you won't be able to see anything let's. Say where are your eyes about here. Like. Close than Hammond this. Hammond. I'm. Not talking to you.

Well. I do want for your other eye. Yeah. Can. You see out now. That's. There look can you see we. Can see is little eyes that's lovely if someone holds this right. James if you'd like to start reversing, keeping. Your ears open for Hammonds, pitiable. Screams Roger. No. No, just stop no, stop. So. Far away's that about 15, feet. Hammond. We. Live in London you could build a 4 million pound house in that gap I need. To know when you're about half an inch away. Hammond. You're on silence, till it's dangerous. That. Is absolutely. Brilliant. That's. Like a quarter, of an inch. If. It is parking, sensors very expensive. You can rent a man for almost nothing, yeah how much you pay to rent a man normally but I caught murder now. Get me out of here please. Well, no because we've got a link into the next film. And. We can't get you out anyway because you're too close will never get the bumper off you too good at you job Hammond's oh god that's, what's happened so we're, going back actually it's part two isn't it what was the film it. Was Italy no, that was last week oh. No. The cars are really, over, sustainable. They stay with their cars so, yes, get. On with. The, following morning we were up bright and early so we could get back to the start line. That's. Dogs and foxes and things isn't it dogs have come and eaten you look they. Haven't eaten it they've destroyed, it which. Means I'm. Gonna put it back together again. There's. Some spare parts are there. Yes. I think that horse is looking very ill it's got a very grey face that's always a sign of looking, ill is. Your horse ill. No. He'll. Last the day then. It. Took all morning. To repair my car with stuff from the butcher's shop which. Meant it was lunchtime before, we were on our way back to see how James was getting on. Jeremy. What's all that smoke up ahead there. See. It my Haiti was really bad so. You can't see it because you're trying to look at it through a cow's butt, hole. As. It turned out the smoke was on account of James having. Single-handedly. Restarted. The Industrial, Revolution. The. Theory, is, we. Are reducing our impact on, the environment. But, you've dug it up, that's not where anybody lives it's just the countryside, it's not doing anything, is that, a coal lorry yes, well, that's the least environmental, thing on the entire earth it's, a lorry. Delivering. Coal so, what, do you mean coal caused it to fire up the kiln what, the, bricks have to be beige. You're. Making a car out of mud. Bricks, yes are. You gonna dig a canal network, to get in and out perhaps with your cold that's quite a good. Much. Ruined, countryside.

Later James's. New car was. Finally ready. Why. He dressed up like an American footballer well, it's a prototype, and I'm. A test pilot in effect test pilots wear specialist. Equipment but, that looks perfectly. Solid to me. Roof. Is. James. Even given the limitations, of the material, you've used your car looks crap yeah but look how it blends in with the environment Prince, Charles would love this blend, in with anything well there's no environment, left you've dug it all up right. Can. We finally go yes you can Devon, miles lie ahead. That. Is a complete, mystery, to be honest. Had. An arched roof it had a Keystone there. Must be something wrong with that lauter. Waiting. For James to mend his bodywork again, meant my bodywork, started, to go off Oh. But. Eventually he, was ready. Pretty. Rather Pleasant, this. Is like being at home with the windows open. Richard. Meanwhile, had added some floral, go-faster. Stripes and I, had opened up my cows rectum to, improve the ventilation. We. Have had a few problems with. Many cupboards yes. Two miles in two, days but. Here. We are as a threesome, going along. But, then, it's. A river and not a small one Oh. Are. You brakes it falling off your bollocks for the cop. There's. Redundancy built, into it is that yeah. Since. Richard, is the team bumpkin, we decided, he, should go first. Oh come on my community, of people make the higher ground, just climb. Hannan's. Ark made it to the other side safely. And. Then it was my go. I'm. Really deep here, really. Really deep. However. I too made. It with relative ease, my. Mates Hammond. But. Then. Look. At this. Old. Man driving a low garden, wall into a river, now. Let's look on the bright side if, this doesn't work as a car it, will be very effective as a dam. He's. Not doing it quite as quickly as you all right nor as aggressively, as purposefully. His. Car is also riding a lot lower than a house because it wastes out yes it's, getting very deep it may be leaking slightly. It's. Leaking a lot. Kak. Japs. I think I'm beached being. Honest there's not a great, deal we can do about it you're in the river we're here, right. If I go right a bit I should. Clear. That oh yes. Yeah. So. The mortars dissolving. In the bricks it is falling off yes. That's. Walk on. This. All day, he's just transporting. His own cameras, along that's all he's doing. Oh. We're. Gonna have to pull him out of his misery. Do. You think, what, is the point of it. The. Situation, there is literally. Nothing we can do to help nothing. Leaving. James in his dissolving. Car we headed off to make camp and, get, supper, underway. I'm. Gonna pop in your rather tragic. Tents, this. Isn't so bad news all right. Sure. Is amazing isn't it my, car the way it disappears, into that hedge it's, not just camouflage, it, it is hedge I. Will. Agree yours is remarkable. Meanwhile. James's, car had shed so much weight that he was able to get free. And. Start. Raping the countryside, again to rebuild, it. What's. Incredible about this, this. Sustainable. Living we're doing he's. On a barbecue, is made from bricks from. James's, car the. Kindling, and the vegetables, are from your car. Tell. Me I'm eating back. Waiting. What. When you buy a steak, it says keep refrigerated to the, side. Of your car leave it in the Sun then drive it to a river. James, is making such a rocket. It's worse than last time. The. Difference on this ship well he's been tearing. Nature apart I've, never felt closer to. Me. Always. Oh. Hammond. The. Next morning - cheer up Hammond, following, the decimation, of his car and his woodland. Animal community, I made. Breakfast. Going. Greens just, a piece of dog you can see where the Flies are feed on it it's disgusting. Hello hello. It's. A dung heap it is early morning. Morning. What, is this car what is it it is a totally, sustainable and.

Car Made of effectively, wattle and daub only, the wattle has been replaced by straw and the dog has been replaced by cow poo but the principles, are the same. Only. Just and where's your windscreen there. Hang. On. Could. We just test your blind spots James can. You see either of us now. No. Heavily. Pedestrianised, areas should be avoided. Right. Come on we've got two miles to go yes. Jesus. Christ. This oh. It. Breaks my heart but it's a small gift for you. Dead. Bat. Bats. Have sold. So. I could use it as a reversing, parking sensor, yeah. I think it works once the bat is dead. And. So. We're all of us running. Reversing. Bat is working, well we. Began the final two mile leg of our epic, journey Oh. Balls. Are. Some issues associated, with, environmentalism. And, missing, one of them right now. Am. I anywhere, near the gate. James. Attempted, to tie his car back together using, a ball of string, which. Went well. Stupid. Idea. But. Eventually it, was done and we were on our way. Way. Though. Gonna. Say the weight has gone down a bit I think I'm down to three tonnes, so. You still need an HTV noise. Mind. You I had even bigger problems. My, car was starting, to smell really bad. The. Sound recordist, just came to fiddle with my microphone and actually. It was sick. Eventually. Though our destination. Hoved interview. After. Three days. Grueling. Travel, over 11 miles, we're. Here. This. Must be it, it. Was the inaugural. Sustainable. Living motorsport. Challenge on a track, carved. Out of nature, itself. No. Hang on. The. Text message I've got a text here for mr. Willman with the instructions, of what we're doing whoever. Does the most laps in one hour, wins. Well, James that's not gonna be well, you don't know no I do know it's not gonna be you oh no, wait hang on you will be racing against, three old fashioned, steel, cars. Oh. There. They are how, quaint no, they don't look quite they look ridiculous, or funny that's the nature of progress isn't it suddenly they looks shoot. The, museum, pieces were being driven by three local, heroes. Right. This is it the. Meteor in the treaty I and, the PT I already. Got. It got they've gone I couldn't. See the flag. Yes. There are some hay bales I'll follow those. How. The hell does it go next. Despite. The excellent start, from Richard gnarly we were quickly overwhelmed. By the steel, cars. What. Richard 9 really needed was help from or colleague. Sadly. Though. I'm. Gonna take a racing, lot so I'm completely lost. Toby's. The racetrack looks the same as the front of the car, what. A stupid idea for an event. We, have to pay for another temple. News. The, super-absorbent slightly. Larger, those tampons. Which. I hope will last a little longer. Given. That we were in an endurance, race our, tactic, so far had been to protect our cars. But. With the cars of the past racking, up so many laps we, had together hammer, down. Yes. Yes. I. Was. Lighting a hedge. Yes. I. Think. I've done a lot. With. Us three, well, two, making. Good progress the, cars from the past started, to play dirty. I. Got. Older, they're getting violent. That. You. Can mess with us just because we like trees to you that's how to automate your car. On. The steel. Though, we were holding our own the relentless. Pressure started. To take its toll on our vehicles. Most, parts of the hats. No. Well. Is that from the exhaust. With. Hammond distracted. By the hot exhaust burning. His bodywork, it, was all down to my cow car. Jois in here between the past, and, the future. Jeremy's. Got trouble. How. Do you feel the cow. Having. Eventually, got to the overheating, engine and, seen it had become a production. Line for maggots. Are. You decided, to go off and be sick. All. Sports. Events, on a sustainable, track or whatever it's called Jeremy, Clarkson has retired with a maggot infestation. This. Meant all our hopes rested, with Richard, Hammond and his smoldering, arc. Oh. My. God. No. More news from the sustainable. Motors for challenges, that out Richard. Hammond I believe, is on fire the garden center is ablaze. With. Hammonds car on fire. Mine. Alone and, James, is disintegrating, again. We. Decided, that environmentalism. Simply. Doesn't work. And. With, that, and. With. That back. To the tent. Holy. Crap. So. That. There. We are we've looked into it we've looked into it thoroughly and I'm afraid we're. All doomed we're all gonna die and. On that's terrible, disappointments, I'm afraid it's time to end see you next week goodbye. You.

2019-12-03 09:50

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